Overly Enthusiastic

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?

Overly Enthusiastic

Postby highcostofliving » Sat Sep 30, 2017 7:34 am

I'm on the hunt so to speak for a Sponsor, attending my first meeting last night.... at the end one of the members, was really pushing to be a sponsor (and being me, I hadn't mentioned needing one or said more than two words)... but he was saying "I'm really looking for a sponsee, and he started telling me all the meetings he goes to and which ones I should go to".... he was very nice, and being one of few words, it's not always bad when I run into a talkative person in groups... however, I'm not sure it would be a good fit as far as sponsorship... but man he seemed so eager... it's also been only one meeting... but I'm attending a morning meeting that he'll be at, and I'm a little worried, I'll just get 'roped' into this because I don't want to hurt his feelings, I wouldn't want to hurt his recovery, if he needs a sponsee to get better, then really, I shouldn't have a problem here.... Also, met another guy in there that seemed WAY more my speed, he said about 4 sentences, but I liked everything he had to say.... can you have two sponsors? or how would one say 'no' to someone? Is it possible to just have one as a sponsor I talk to sometimes to help him out... I don't know.... I know it's only been one day so I don't know a lot about anyone, and I've literally only met a couple people in one meeting, so there's a good chance this will all take care of itself, and that's the mindset I have right now.... but I happen to be a 'pleaser' so if he's too eager or pushy, I think I'll end up just going with it... he seemed to REALLY want someone to sponsor....

Thanks for reading.
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Re: Overly Enthusiastic

Postby PaigeB » Sat Sep 30, 2017 10:50 am

I wouldn't suggested more than one sponsor. If you have a question and get 2 different answers - or ask 100 people - you are still stuck with making a choice about the question! My sponsor though doesn't give answers only points me in a certain direction or helps me change my perception. I always have the choice to Do what she asks or not.

What I sought was someone who had what I wanted. That happened to be the ability to struggle through life's problems and still stay sober. My current sponsor was in a meeting looking frazzled and told us she had locked her keys in the car. She figured she would just call the locksmith after the meeting. She was laughing about it! I have some sobriety and felt the need to go through the Steps again so I was familiar with the Steps, the program and this woman. She has what we call "a strong sponsorship line" ie lots of sponsees who also are sponsoring. We call on our sponsor, our sister sponsees and our Home Group members or the larger AA community.

Here is a brochure on Sponsorship. https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-lite ... ponsorship
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Re: Overly Enthusiastic

Postby Brock » Sat Sep 30, 2017 2:38 pm

Congratulations on your first meeting. It's good to be a nice guy and not hurt the fellows feelings, but I believe if it doesn’t feel right for you don't accept his offer. I sometimes write and speak about first meetings, and the fact that overenthusiastic members put me off. I came to my first meeting because I thought I may have a problem, let me sit and listen, yes thanks I will help myself to the coffee, but quit this hugging and crowding around me, really I didn't come to stand out, I had hoped to just sit and listen, I think many forget how they felt walking in the first time. I am not saying that's what happened at your first, but it's something I see often.

If he needs a sponsee to stay sober, I believe someone with that sort of limited sobriety is exactly who you don't need, I would ask the other fellow. And if this well meaning member asks you again, you can just say not at this time thank you, I am trying to settle in first.

Sorry but I am not a fan of people who judge others by how many they sponsor, I hear it all the time, 'so and so has so many sponsees,' well if they have so many and they are just so many new folks to go around, some are going to end up with nobody to sponsor.

I am a fan of getting a head start, going to you tube and typing in 'Joe and Charlie Big book study', and with book in hand follow along, stopping to ponder if necessary, maybe highlight my book, a little bit at a time when we are in the mood. Those fellows will give you a good start, and when you do pick a live one he should have less to do, just let him know how far in the book you have reached. Keep moving forward you can't go wrong, and all the best.
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Re: Overly Enthusiastic

Postby Spirit Flower » Sat Sep 30, 2017 5:27 pm

What Brock said.
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