What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
Patsy©
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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Patsy© » Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:32 am

I am deeply grateful for this simple program, and particularly my third Sponsor (Divine Intervention) that I was fortunate enough to get when I first got sober. It was shared with me right from the get go, that we choose a sponsor from we are at on our own insides, not from where the sponsor is at :)
The first sponsor wanted to tell me what to do and how to do it. And, I learned alot from her, about what I didn't want. The 2nd Sponsor was nice, but had no working knowledge of the 12 Steps in her own life, so how would she guide me through them. When I was about 3 days sober it was shared with me that its important to find a sponsor so I would have someone to be accountable to when it came to not drinking and staying sober. That worked out well with all 3 actually. The 3rd Sponsor I got shared the truth with me, that if anyone in AA tries to tells me what to do, how to do it, what to think, where to go or with who......... then GET AWAY from them, because that IS NOT what we do in Alcoholics Anonymous.

When I asked her anything, she would share her own experience, strength and hope with me, and I learned alot about myself with that approach from her. She shared with me that she could never ever tell me what to do, because what she learned was her own journey, and that I had my own journey to learn from. She shared things like "Patsy, I could never give you what I have, its impossible, because you are not me and what I have is where God wanted me to go, you have a God of your own understanding, that when you work the Steps in your own life, get quiet and go inside and just Listen...... you will hear and learn from that still small voice within....guiding you to what the next right thing is for YOU. Because the only ones who can take you where you need to go......is God and you. Pay attention, because God can speak through people, situations, many ways.... even through songs. So pay close attention because you never know where YOUR next valuable lesson will come from."

I have passed this message on to my own sponsee's, to never ever allow anyone to tell them what to do or to allow anyone to run their life........that if they are working, applying and practicing the 12 steps in the Big Book..... then their gut will teach them what they need to learn.
I let my sponsee's know that if they need me I will be there for them in a heartbeat......to help guide them to where they need to go to their own answers......INSIDE........to God and themself :)

Sponsorship with those who have long time recovery, from my experience, eventually turns into a deep and close friendship..... and what a gift that is :)

Gratefully Recovered
Patsy
Failed 12 Step Call? Not if we walk away sober!

coachdonsul
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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by coachdonsul » Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:49 am

She shared with me that she could never ever tell me what to do, because what she learned was her own journey, and that I had my own journey to learn from. She shared things like "Patsy, I could never give you what I have, its impossible, because you are not me and what I have is where God wanted me to go, you have a God of your own understanding, that when you work the Steps in your own life, get quiet and go inside and just Listen...... you will hear and learn from that still small voice within....guiding you to what the next right thing is for YOU. Because the only ones who can take you where you need to go......is God and you. Pay attention, because God can speak through people, situations, many ways.... even through songs. So pay close attention because you never know where YOUR next valuable lesson will come from."
Patsy,

That is a keeper and you would think that after 27 years of sobriety I would know it, but not actively working with any newcomers now, I have forgotten it. I am also reminded of that oft quoted line about "out of the mouth of babes, we often hear the most valuable lessons". :D I have often learned more from newcomers than I have from hoary old timers

Thanks again,

Don

Patsy©
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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Patsy© » Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:18 am

Hi Don,

I am not sure what a hoary old timer is, but I have been called a regular old timer! LOL Thanks Don, I enjoyed your post :)
Failed 12 Step Call? Not if we walk away sober!

Service
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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Service » Tue Jun 25, 2013 5:33 pm

Love all our GovernMental friends here, I myself have to many friends in and outside of A.A to have to participate in a outside sponsorship religious program which has nothing to do with A.A. Many have no clue what A.A is not in it’s Traditions – If an institutional way works for you, by all means do it, but to call it A.A. for it is truly a disservice that’s why Anonymity is our spiritual foundation that religious people don’t understand.
Let me clarify religious as not having to do anything with God – Religious is people who believe in God, so does the devil, but can’t rely on him.

Patsy©
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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Patsy© » Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:03 pm

Hi Service,

I am not sure what you are trying to convey Service? I like to think of myself as an informed AA member. I love the 12 Traditions and have attended AA Traditions meetings for many years. Is there anything we can help you with Service?
Failed 12 Step Call? Not if we walk away sober!

Lali
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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Lali » Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:12 pm

Service, you're a hoot!!!
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

Db1105
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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Db1105 » Sat Jun 29, 2013 3:45 pm

My favorite analogy about sponsorship is that I can read a book on how to change the brake pads on my car. When I go out to do it, somehow it not as easy, nor does it go the way it is written and shown in the book. It's a lot easier if you have someone with replacing brake pad there with you to walk you through the process. The AA program is easier if you have someone with experience guide you through the Big Book and The Steps. Not to mention service, commitments, 12 step calls, home group, etc., etc.

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by MitchellK » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:16 pm

It was written - " Religious is people who believe in God..."

I religiously brush my teeth and take out the garbage every day. Neither have anything to do with a god. Since all religions were designed by human beings and each stating they have some sort of special connection with a god, why would I want to believe in religions? However, I do believe in God with all my heart. Why would God need a religion? Each religion, sect, denomination claims to be right and the correct way. How can each be right?

My sponsor's obligation and responsibility was to guide me through the Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Part of that is to help me come to an understanding of a Power greater than myself. My sponsor did those things and I have a Power greater than myself I believe in today. I have no belief in religion but I still religiously brush my teeth bu there are days I forget to take out the garbage but I do rectify that as soon as I am able.

Service
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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Service » Mon Jul 08, 2013 6:11 pm

It was written - " Religious is people who believe in God..."
Yep people who belive in God al right but just can't rely on him

Satin belives in God does that make him religious to? is this just another reason to run to a sponsor if one cannot rely on God yet belives in him?

Take a closer look !!

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