What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
Service
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What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Service » Wed Oct 10, 2012 8:32 pm

Try A.A. as a whole instead as may try to turn it into a religion by using a group will calling it a conscious as many in their right minds (sober) flee.
Try A.A. as a whole instead as may try to turn it into a religion by using a group will calling it a conscious as many in their right minds (sober) flee.

Might I suggest you start your own topic and express whatever problem you have against Sponsorship there, rather than continuing to go post by post?
Thanks... Tommy
Why do you have to have a problem? No problem just belive in the 3 pertent ideas of A.A. and it's message

Should we praise ourselfs for a free gift given?
Is a parole officers needed in A.A. to report to?
No step tells us to sponsor people already here?
No tradition?

People need people but mommies and dadies go a bit to far - is not God everything or nothing? why make him a nothing?
It's not what one belives in but who one relies or rely on, why divert out of the gate?
Even the devil belives in God yet can't rely on him ?

There is many questions to ask about "being" principle based instead of PARTY BASED. and these are a few for starters yet no problem just curious why so many go against A.A.’s ideas and make up their own.

The Book talks about the illusions and delusions are astonishing and I am sure it means sober because drunks don’t read the book sober people do. The Big Book is Interesting not problematic –

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Tommy-S » Wed Oct 10, 2012 9:06 pm

Thank you,

Not sure how to respond as I am not sure I am understanding you correctly, but here's a try at your 4 questions:
Service wrote:Should we praise ourselfs for a free gift given?
Is a parole officers needed in A.A. to report to?
No step tells us to sponsor people already here?
No tradition?
1: The free gift... "AA's manner of making ready to receive this free gift lies in the practice of the Twelve Steps in our Program" (12 x 12, pg 107)... it is the cutting away of self-will run riot that blocks us off from this 'unsuspected inner resources' (as described in Appendix II, Spiritual Experience) Do we Praise ourselves? Not usually, as the cutting away of the self-will is also the gateway through which Humility enters... And as Tradition 12 states (long form) "to the end that our great blessings will never spoil us: that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over all of us"

2: Parole Officer... (I assume that is your interpretation of Sponsor)??? Sorry to hear that. Besides being the carrier of AAs tested experience, my sponsors (I have had a few over the years) have become some of my best friends, and examples of the kind of man I would like to be.
They also help me to stay accountable, as even the wisest in the world take counsel. I prefer not to suffer the Sober illusion that "I" have God's specific guidance & direction, and I do so by checking it out with a sponsor I trust. It seems, those 'messages' from God often turn out to be written in my own hand writing... Sober rationalizations in the Holiest sense

3: No step TELLS us anything... They are suggestions only. The 12th Step does say ,We tried to carry this message to alcoholics." Period. that would include all alcoholics...in & out of the rooms.

4: What Tradition would you like to discuss?
Service wrote:about "being" principle based instead of PARTY BASED.
It's a principle described by Medicine as 'the Herd Instinct" (Appendix III). There is Strength in numbers. In fact, Alcoholics Anonymous is considered the start of the Modern Era in treatment/mental health.
Service wrote:is not God everything or nothing? why make him a nothing?
It's not what one belives in but who one relies or rely on, why divert out of the gate?
Even the devil belives in God yet can't rely on him ?
IF G O D was all that was needed, my friend, than AA would never have a priest, minister or clergy person as a member, as they obviously know more about G O D than you or I, yet can NOT stop drinking on that alone.... Any more than they would shun medical attention for a broken leg, cancer or diabetes

You might want to find a sponsor/parole officer/mommy or daddy so they can help you understand the three-fold illness called Alcoholism, and what AA does & does not do.

And by all means, if you find AA so objectionable, feel free to take your self somewhere else. It's OK. No sense in being with that which causes us grief sobriety, as we can be quite happily miserable and drunk. You have my best.

Thanks... Tommy
Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by PaigeB » Thu Oct 11, 2012 12:45 pm

I don't sponsor my friends. As friends we get to dish about things; complain and ponder... but I hired my sponsor to call me on my BS. And guess what, she doesn't play around!

My sponsor comes from a position of love & concern, like a nurse. Sometimes she must say things I don't want to hear and she does so without worry. She pulls the bandaid off quickly. She re-directs me. She points out things I might want to work on. This is not to say we don't have a blast when the situation is social, but if I call her or it is our weekly meeting - she plays the role of teacher & I the student.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by jimbo d » Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:43 pm

Here's why this Bloke needs a Sponsor. Because in 1935 God gave a man the answer to our problem (See how God uses people to do his bidding). That same Man than wrote the solution down in a Book, and called it Alcoholics Anonymous (there's God again, using People to spread his will). In 1978 a Man was born, With this problem...we will call him Me (no one is allowed to use his express likeness without me's consent). God then, through a series of events sent this man the solution, through a program called Alcoholics Anonymous. Me, was given a book... But there was problem. The book was written in Sober. Me, Does not read sober, He cannot make sense of it. Because Me can only read in drunk. Me is not as smart as this other man, let's call this man service(any similarities to people living or dead are merely conincidental) because Me, cannot decipher Sober writing, like our friend Service. Me expresses this problem to people in AA (here comes God using the humans again to spread his peanut butter). Me is told there are people in AA, People who have been passed down the ancient dialect of Sober, and not only can read and write it, but also act it and think it. These people are called Sponsors. So Me, Asks one of these sponsor, He says sponsor... I would like to learn the native tongue of AA called Sober. (Here comes God, using people to spread his will) So sponsor opens book up and starts to read in Sober, then stops, the explains it to me in Drunk. Overtime I start to slowly learn how to Read and speak in Sober, And since we think in language.... (Think about it, your thoughts are in English) we start speaking and thinking in this Tongue called Sober. And the instructions written in Sober are oddly enough Instructions on how to behave in Sober, So here we are Reading and speaking and even acting in this strange thing called Sober. Soon, after sometime with enough effort....A Curious thing happens, we start to think in Sober Just like our Sponsor. And so in turn we forever are truly grateful to God, for giving us Sober, We are thankful to the Men who have kind enough to teach us Sober. And to show our graditude and thanks we gladly teach others sober. Now, If I had to write to this to our ficitious charcter, Service to explain to him why sponsors are vital in the passing on the word of God that we call Sober. There's a good chance he's still thinking in drunk. (and maybe, just maybe if there ever was a real person named service, Do you think it would be really cool if God, used Me to explain the usefulness of a sponsor to Service. All Service would have to do, would be open minded in order to recieve God's message.)

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by happycamper » Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:03 pm

While I have many AA friends, my Sponsor was my best AA friend and the person to whom I told everything to.
I learned the hard way early on in the fellowship that ya cant trust everyone in the meetings. Not everyone in AA is 'well'. :?
Faith without works is dead

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by jimbo d » Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:19 pm

Should we praise ourselfs for a free gift given? There is humility for the gift given, But I paid for my gift. Here are the first 3 steps... I can't, he can, And without me he won't. So me and God, We got a thing, I do the work do here, he does the work up there. Now I cannot keep a drink out of my mouth without him, but I sure an try to be a person in his world, help others and for that he helps me. God never came down and kicked a drink out of my hand. So this God did it all thing, that's rubbish. I clearly remember doing a whole lotta things I did not care to do, I did not like doing, Nor did I really believe would work at the time. So, I am nothing without God, But I am something with him. So yes, I do praise myself, for getting off my rump, suiting up, showing up and getting things done. No shame in that.


Is a parole officers needed in A.A. to report to? Not unless your parole officer is a memeber of AA. I get it, some members hold other members accountable to do what they say, and say what they do. Some sponsors behave like they are in charge of thier sponsees... But give those folks some leeway... God's not done with them yet, like God is not done with you. And if you have such a problem with this. Give God a shout about it, And I tell you what. If he does not do anything about this whole AA debacle. Then leave it alone, because Apparently God does not give a crap about it.

No step tells us to sponsor people already here? This question perplexes me. because step 12 only makes the distinction that the person only be alcoholic... Nothing about thier Geographical location, or where they are in thier journey in life. Just that the person be the Alcoholics.....And Service, dude you have got to go to a meeting, there are some suffering alcoholics in the rooms that need someone to help them read sober.

No tradition? Not sure why Traditions would tell us to sponsor.


But here's the best reason for me to sponsor, Because utlimatley I am in AA to save my own ass. And Sponsoring people keeps me going to meetings, Sponsoring people keeps my selfish mind from thinking about me. (here's God again, using people). A lot of time when you ask someone, Why'd go back out....they often say, stopped going to meetings. Ask this next time, before you stopped going to meetings....Were you working with anyone, helping newcomers? have any sponsees.... The reason they stopped going to meetings, was because they were not helping anyone. THE PERSON SPONSORING HAD NO SPONSEE TO BE ACCOUNTABLE TO.

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Service » Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:11 am

Tommy "if you find AA so objectionable, feel free to take your self somewhere else".
A.A is not objectBLE AT ALL -The religious peple prasers who thinks they are A.A. is questionable and clearly lack humility but A.A itself is great !!!! for not knowing how to answer your better of not answering if you really are here to carry the message of A.A. instead of your kind conditions.

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Tommy-S » Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:40 am

Service,

Judging from the use of 'Parole Officer' to describe Sponsors and your posts against Home Group (as you did when you were last here), it seemed clear you have a problem.

Also that you are Not interested in a solution, just complaining.

This stirring things up has got to be exciting, isn't it? That P O W E R of Folks reading and responding to Y O U when they might be helping someone else in dire need of a Solution.

"Producers of confusion, rather than harmony..."

And that's OK, everyone's welcome in my Home Group... Maybe one day they'll figure it out. Until then, they are my best teachers of patience and tolerance.

Have a great day... Tommy
Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by jimbo d » Sat Oct 13, 2012 7:01 pm

And just to play devil's Advocate. I think services description of sponsors as parole officers.... I am with him, that this behavior by sponsors is injurous and not AA. The job of a sponsor is not to take a superior role. IT's not keep the sponsee from drinking, engaging in risky behavior. Those are the job of the steps. The job of the sponsor is to spread the message of AA in a one on one format to the sponsee.

And the big book may not mention sponsors by name.... But the authors dedicated an entire chapter to "working with others".

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Tommy-S » Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:24 pm

May I ask if either of you have had a "Parole Officer"?
Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Service » Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:48 am

Why do people have to make God little?
Why can't the A.A. promise reach others "That God can intuitively handle situations that use to baffle them"

Why is the outside sponsorship system opposed to A.A ways? Like the "No human power can relive us" idea of A.A not yours nor mine?
Why doesn’t the outside system have humility instead of humiliating to others in A.A.

Take a closer look :idea:

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Service » Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:52 am

Tommy_S wrote:May I ask if either of you have had a "Parole Officer"?
Real A.A. is Non institutional, don't need one , SOBER and FREE only but for the grace of GOD their go I.

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by becksdad » Fri Dec 28, 2012 6:00 am

A man was perched on the roof of his house during a great flood. As the waters rose higher, he prayed "God please save me". God told the man he would be saved.

Presently, a boat came by and tried to get him off the roof. The man declined assistance, saying, "No thanks, it is God who will save me". The waters rose higher, swirling violently. At great danger to themselves, another crew with a boat tried to rescue the man, and again he refused, saying "God said he would save me, I will wait for Him". Finally, the danger became so great that no boat could reach him anymore. At the last minute, a helicopter flew over and lowered a lifeline. Yet again, the man refused, believing his great faith in God is what would save him. The man on the roof was swept away and drowned.

Upon meeting his Maker, the man asked, "why didn't you save me like you promised?"

God said, "Well, I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter!"

For me, it would be the height of arrogance, not humility, to refuse the help that is sent. I tend to hear what God wants me to hear from the mouths of others. My sponsor is who guides me along the path where I can hear those voices.

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by kenyal » Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:12 am

"A.A is not objectBLE AT ALL -The religious peple prasers who thinks they are A.A. is questionable and clearly lack humility but A.A itself is great !!!! for not knowing how to answer your better of not answering if you really are here to carry the message of A.A. instead of your kind conditions."

I"m not sure what you mean here. Could you explain?

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Re: What does a sponsor do that A.A friends can't ?

Post by Blue Moon » Sat Dec 29, 2012 12:52 pm

If praying yourself sober gets and keeps you sober, go for it! You need no sponsor. Didn't work long for anyone I've ever known who tried it, but maybe your case is different.

If all I ever used was whatever I heard in AA meetings, I'd be a raving lunatic.
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