Continue to watch for ...

The 12 Steps are the AA program of recovery from alcoholism.
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Wiganman
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Continue to watch for ...

Post by Wiganman »

In Step Ten we are told to "Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear"

Why do we need to watch for these?

Simple answer is we are trying to manage that feelings of restlessness, irritability and discontentment which always drove us back to a drink.

We attempt to manage the discontentment at the root cause before it festers.

With practice this can become a very powerful way to improve your life.
"The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success." =ugeek

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PaigeB
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My sponsor just asked me tonight if I have been keeping up with the regular inventory process and... well, I guess not so much. I know I need to get back into the regular habit of doing it.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

Mike O
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Post by Mike O »

For me, it’s vital.
Nightly before sleep, as part of my night prayer, I look back briefly over the day. Not my idea, it’s in the book.
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Theo50
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Post by Theo50 »

Wiganman wrote:
Tue Sep 08, 2020 2:00 pm
In Step Ten we are told to "Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear"
I need daily vigilance of this, especially during the last several months of this pandemic. I feel that my mind, by nature, strays to resentment and fear if I don't.

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avaneesh912
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Post by avaneesh912 »

Its important to catch when it arises. All the selfishness and self-centeredness arise as a thought form and before it affects us or others we try to catch it. So observing ourselves is the key. We are not going to be successful all the time, then comes the amends process and we restart the process again.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

tomsteve
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Re: Continue to watch for ...

Post by tomsteve »

this is one step that not enough is written of in the bb-
Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.

i dont agree with this wholeheartedly. some resentments and fears are justifiably so. asking god to remove them,tell someone isnt a solution for every fear and resentment.
i dont have to tolerate unacceptable behavior,either.

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PaigeB
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Go back to Page 67... where we learned how to handle such things.

Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."

We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.


Trust me - It takes a Power Greater than myself for me to be kindly and tolerant... to avoid argument & retaliation!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

tomsteve
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Re: Continue to watch for ...

Post by tomsteve »

my power greater than me doesnt want me to be kindly and tolerant of pedophiles,rapists, or animal abusers.

innermost
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tomsteve wrote:
Sun Sep 13, 2020 5:08 am
this is one step that not enough is written of in the bb-
Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.

i dont agree with this wholeheartedly. some resentments and fears are justifiably so. asking god to remove them,tell someone isnt a solution for every fear and resentment.
i dont have to tolerate unacceptable behavior,either.
The 12 x 12 has a more descriptive reading on the 10th step.
I assume you know this, but others may not. :D
The first 164 pg. is the program!

Mike O
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Re: Continue to watch for ...

Post by Mike O »

tomsteve wrote:
Mon Sep 14, 2020 7:27 am
my power greater than me doesnt want me to be kindly and tolerant of pedophiles,rapists, or animal abusers.
Thankfully, I don’t run in to any of these people on a daily basis.
During 12 years of sobriety, increased prayer, meditation, I’ve reached the conclusion that I am in no position to judge anybody, no matter what they have done. However, easier said than done sometimes.
Perhaps if one of the people you mention was to enter my life, I might find my programme, indeed my faith, severely tested.
However, until that time, I don’t feel inclined to pay them any heed. I really cannot afford anger and resentment, no matter how justifiable I might consider it.
Last edited by Mike O on Sun Sep 20, 2020 4:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Mike O
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Re: Continue to watch for ...

Post by Mike O »

innermost wrote:
Mon Sep 14, 2020 2:19 pm

The 12 x 12 has a more descriptive reading on the 10th step.
I assume you know this, but others may not. :D
Yes, and it’s well worth a regular revisit
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PaigeB
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Re: Continue to watch for ...

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tomsteve wrote:
Mon Sep 14, 2020 7:27 am
my power greater than me doesnt want me to be kindly and tolerant of pedophiles,rapists, or animal abusers.
Kindly & tolerant just means I don't pull a weapon or race across the room and bust out some teeth. I don't have to go to the meeting they go to. I don't have to give them anytime in my mind at all lest I go crazy while they rest easy.

Alcoholism does not just choose "good folks" and I don't get to Judge. It is a deadly equal opportunity disease.

I do get to choose what I do with my feet and my 7th Tradition money.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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