Steps 1, 2 & 3

The 12 Steps are the AA program of recovery from alcoholism.
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rjr34036
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Steps 1, 2 & 3

Post by rjr34036 » Thu Nov 28, 2019 12:24 am

Hello all, ReAnne, alcoholic. New here. I’ve been kind of hesitant to ask this because there’s prob tons of opinions but I’ve decided to anyway!

Background; when I went through the steps for the first time I was told how the steps are broken down in the book based on chapter (speaking of 1/2/3) and told that each one has a “principle behind it.” I have since traveled outside of my area and got many different takes on the recovery process, along with having done my own searching and research. Anyway, I no longer totally agree with the way I was originally taken through the work and think that things definitely could have been done more efficiently and effectively. Nevertheless, it got the job done. I went back through a second time after being sober for a while to get a more clear understanding of the literature because the truth is that when I arrived I sat with my sponsor every week and read with her, but certainly didn’t comprehend more than 20% of what we read. I knew I was hopeless, I knew I need help, and was ready to get on with the steps to have a new life created for me, cuz I need a new one BADLY.

So fast forwarding to present day, I am currently working with a few people and am not so rigid in taking them through the way I was taken through. After praying on it and listening to them to figure out with what’s best for them, I just go with my gut.

There have been a couple where I don’t find it necessary to read the forewords and preface first, others where I’ve step 1’d without the book, only referring to key passages for identification purposes. For instance I’m working with a woman who I made sure understood the concepts, but could tell she wasn’t comprehending the literature even with discussing it in depth as we read, (she’s new and just all over the place, can hardly focus, stay on track, follow discussion, etc) so I made sure she was clear on 1/2/3 and she’s starting her fourth.

So my question is, has anyone else found a way to get steps 1/2/3 done without having to read Docs Opinion, Bills Story, there is a solution, more about..., and we agnostics? I do make it clear to the person I’m working with that we WILL be going back to read these chapters though.

I personally believe that these steps are things we come to realize via our experience, and information given in the first few chapters, but just don’t see it necessary to sit with someone for 3-4 weeks reading, who clearly isn’t retaining or understanding.
ReAnneR

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avaneesh912
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Re: Steps 1, 2 & 3

Post by avaneesh912 » Thu Nov 28, 2019 6:58 am

So my question is, has anyone else found a way to get steps 1/2/3 done without having to read Docs Opinion, Bills Story, there is a solution, more about..., and we agnostics? I do make it clear to the person I’m working with that we WILL be going back to read these chapters though.

I personally believe that these steps are things we come to realize via our experience, and information given in the first few chapters, but just don’t see it necessary to sit with someone for 3-4 weeks reading, who clearly isn’t retaining or understanding.
Yes if they are mildly afflicted, they can go to lot of meeting and spend hours dissecting every sentence in the book. But there are a few who are desperate, for them its better we hit the salient features of the disease and get them convinced that their life depended on working the remaining steps for that they need a thorough understanding of the disease quickly.

I use this visual with a person who is willing to sit about couple of hours initially and go through this vicious cycle chart using the the stories from more about alcoholism to show how the alcoholic "if he doesn't enlarge his/her spiritual life" gets blind sighted just like the man of thirty, carsalesman and the accountant. At the end, he/she is convinced or not.
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Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Brock
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Re: Steps 1, 2 & 3

Post by Brock » Thu Nov 28, 2019 12:09 pm

Thanks for this ReAnne, it put a smile on the old man’s face this morning when I read it.

This forum is somewhere people can go and ask confidentially, for advise regarding how their sponsor is taking them through the steps. The last one I remember, asked us if the sponsor was right, in saying step four could take a year to do. Of course we had many replies, basically the advise was find a new sponsor. But these questions have shown some pretty crazy ideas that sponsors have, and I for one have been very annoyed, to read some of the nonsense sponsors come up with. I often say in replying to these, it’s because of the most deadly words you may be unfortunate enough to hear in AA - “That’s the way my sponsor showed me, it worked for me, it should work for you” - no imagination like you have shown, to maybe modify things to suit different individuals. No desire, or not enough brains, to realize that people are different, it’s the old one size fits all approach.

My first effort at a sponsor, I was sent a list of prayers, you must say these were the instruction, every day in the order shown. But said I, I have my own prayers, I am quite a religious fellow, and used to be in the church choir. No no no, that won’t work said he, followed by the time tested - ‘that’s the way my sponsor showed me etc etc.’ Long story short, I never had a sponsor, except maybe you tube videos, books, and asking advise from one or two old timers if I felt stuck.

Thank God there are some like yourself, who think the way I am sure the founders intended we should.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

rjr34036
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Re: Steps 1, 2 & 3

Post by rjr34036 » Thu Nov 28, 2019 12:23 pm

avaneesh912 wrote:
Thu Nov 28, 2019 6:58 am

I use this visual with a person who is willing to sit about couple of hours initially and go through this vicious cycle chart using the the stories from more about alcoholism to show how the alcoholic "if he doesn't enlarge his/her spiritual life" gets blind sighted just like the man of thirty, carsalesman and the accountant. At the end, he/she is convinced or not.
Thank you for this!
ReAnneR

rjr34036
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Re: Steps 1, 2 & 3

Post by rjr34036 » Thu Nov 28, 2019 12:49 pm

Brock wrote:
Thu Nov 28, 2019 12:09 pm
Thanks for this ReAnne, it put a smile on the old man’s face this morning when I read it.

This forum is somewhere people can go and ask confidentially, for advise regarding how their sponsor is taking them through the steps. The last one I remember, asked us if the sponsor was right, in saying step four could take a year to do. Of course we had many replies, basically the advise was find a new sponsor. But these questions have shown some pretty crazy ideas that sponsors have, and I for one have been very annoyed, to read some of the nonsense sponsors come up with. I often say in replying to these, it’s because of the most deadly words you may be unfortunate enough to hear in AA - “That’s the way my sponsor showed me, it worked for me, it should work for you” - no imagination like you have shown, to maybe modify things to suit different individuals. No desire, or not enough brains, to realize that people are different, it’s the old one size fits all approach.

My first effort at a sponsor, I was sent a list of prayers, you must say these were the instruction, every day in the order shown. But said I, I have my own prayers, I am quite a religious fellow, and used to be in the church choir. No no no, that won’t work said he, followed by the time tested crap - ‘that’s the way my sponsor showed me etc etc.’ Long story short, I never had a sponsor, except maybe you tube videos, books, and asking advise from one or two old timers if I felt stuck.

Thank God there are some like yourself, who think the way I am sure the founders intended we should.
Hi Brock! Thank you! Yes I’ve met quite a few this way. I think they get hung up on “precisely how we recovered...” I have many opinions on that lol but won’t get into all of that! Haha! However it’s done, the process tends to work regardless of all the foolishness some sponsors bring, thank goodness!
ReAnneR

D'oh
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Re: Steps 1, 2 & 3

Post by D'oh » Thu Nov 28, 2019 7:45 pm

Truly. Step Back and look.

I believe we enter the Doors of AA, on the 3rd Step, Our "Self Centeredness" is just too large to realise this.

If everything was going Good in my Life, the last thing I would be thinking of would be "Not Drinking".

So I walked through the Door's looking for Help. I didn't know "What Help". Just Help getting Life in Order. I was Defeated, I had tried So Many Ways, to get in front, ahead, better while Drinking.

So I couldn't, but maybe AA could. Pretty much the 2nd Step.

At my first Meeting, the Relief I felt, that Maybe, just Maybe there is a Life without Alcohol. Well that's the Basics for "Made a Decision" to come Back. Find out "How".

I did have the 1st Step before my Sponsor reading "Try some Controlled Drinking" part of More about Alcoholism" because I wanted to slug him when he read that.

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