excellent description pasty one i fully understand and relate withPatsy© wrote:Hi Soberguy,Soberguy27 wrote:So, recently I have been hearing of people who get to the 4th step then stop and end up going out. I have many people talk about why some people do this. I believe that step 4 isn't the problem. I believe if you are going out after doing step 4 it's because you haven't fully accepted step 1. I am.curious to hear from you as to what you think the reason is for some folks going out after step 4. I realize that each case is different so it would be hard to be exact but your thoughts would be appreciated. I will be meeting up with a new sponcee tomorrow night who breifly told me this was an issue for him.
I had no clue that I had no clue, that an obsession of the mind (a thought that overcomes all other thoughts) was absolutely running the show. This obsession of the mind for alcohol told me what I would be "thinking", what I would be saying, what I would be doing, where I would be going, with who, what time I would be coming home, or if I would be coming home at all. This obsession of the mind, insured that I would pick up that first sucker drink, and when I put that first drink into my body, I had no clue that it was the first drink that set up a physical compulsion for MORE, and that I would continue to drink until I was drunk, sick and out of control,..... again, and again and again and again...... because I had lost the ability to choose to NOT drink.
My life being unmanageable wasn't so clear in this alkie's mind.
Then this wonderful AA member who took me to my very first AA meeting, asked me one question. He asked:
"Patsy, can you predict with any certainty, on any given occasion, how much you will drink or what will happen to you after you take the first drink of alcohol?"
In my experience admitting and accepting are two entirely different things.
Acceptance doesn't mean to put up with or to just take it, it means to take a really good look at REALITY, what IS, and then make a decision about what I can do or not do about it for me. So I did what was suggested, I didn't drink, I kept coming and asked for help.
On page 63 and 64 in the Big Book there is vital information regarding the 3 steps before Step 4:
"Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.
Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four."
In my own experience, if someone goes out at or after Step 4....then they never had Step One, Step Two or Step Three and I guide them back to Step One.
its a simple truth that i can not predict with any certainty, on any given occasion, how much you will drink or what will happen to you after you take the first drink of alcohol?
the truth is i am very lucky i have not killed anyone once i took a drink