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Post by emilyrowe » Sun Apr 27, 2008 10:39 am

I have a friend who has been acting really strange lately. He just got in a car crash and was almost 5 times the legal limit. We don't live in the same state so I am unaware if he is a habitiual drinker, but didn't think so. Does this indicate a drinking problem, or coudl it be that he just overdid it one night? Please help? I can't find a live chat anywhere for advice.

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Post by ProsaicSteelGirder » Sun Apr 27, 2008 12:17 pm

Not everyone who gets in trouble due to binge drinking in an alcoholic. In fact, not everyone who is a heavy drinker is an alcoholic, but heavy drinking does come with a set of consequences, for sure.
We, AA's don't like to "pronounce anyone an alcoholic" the individual should decide that for him or herself.
I might suggest you call the AA Hotline or Central Office in your friend's town and ask that an AA memebr go chat with them. The number should be in the phone directory for that city -- or you could "Google" "Yahoo" etc your friend's town along with AA and it should pull up the local Intergroup web site.
Let me know if you need further assistance in locating the number for AA in that town.
Hope your friend is doing well.
We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders.

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Post by Dena » Tue Jul 01, 2008 10:45 pm

I might not be one to speak, but I have to agree with the previous poster. My advice would be to talk to the person (if you are friends) and see what they think about the incident and likelyhood for reoccurance.

If it was an isolated incident of drinking and driving, they learned their valuable lesson for sure.

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Post by Blue Moon » Wed Jul 02, 2008 6:29 am

When you say "acting really strangely lately", it implies to me there's more to the behaviour than just a 1-off drinking session.

If it's not the first DUI, I'd say there's definitely a problem. Otherwise, yes, it might be just a case of bad decision-making.
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Post by avaneesh912 » Wed Jul 02, 2008 8:45 am

If, when you (he) honestly want to, you (he) find (s) you (he) cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you (he) have (has) little control over the amount you (he) take (s), you (he) are (is) probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you (he) may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.

The above statement is from the chapter "We Agnostics". I substituted with (he). Having included that, the willingness to stop and stay stopped should come from the alcoholic. He should do it for his sake. You can leave a copy of AA from him to read. Thats all we can do at this point.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Post by Layne » Wed Jul 02, 2008 9:28 am

You didn't ask if he is an alcoholic, which is good because I can't answer that for anyone except myself, but...
car crash and was almost 5 times the legal limit

would certainly indicate at least a problem resulting from drinking. If your friend is of the opinion that a problem occured that resulted from drinking, he might want to to check out an open meeting of AA. Nothing will be required of him and he might get some helpful information.

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Post by martin08 » Wed Jul 02, 2008 2:34 pm

All good advice thus far, Emilyrowe. I know that when I have a friend about whom there is a concern, and five times over the limit is a concern, I can only speak of my own experience in hope that I can win the confidence of my friend enough to open the door to dialogue.

If that confidence is reached, then my friend can decide for him/herself. No other approach seems to be as effective as this one, for me.

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