How to work the work in from the start!?

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Magi
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How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by Magi »

Hiya,
Sober 42days. I have a sponsor, we are reading the BB and working on my Step 1.
But, what else can i do on my own (or on this forum!?) to actually do the work and start practicing the principles?

In addition, besides prayer and meditation, how else can i try and not be in "self"?

Eek

D'oh
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Re: How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by D'oh »

I would usually say 90 in 90 Days, but Covid has that messed up.

Read the BB, Call your Sponsor, Have a pocket full of Sweets, Slow Down and look around you "Life is awesome Sober!" Keep up the Good Work, 42 Days is Great!

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Brock
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Re: How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by Brock »

I think it’s quite normal to want to do things on our own, to sort of speed the process up, there are several useful you tube videos on each step and also complete big book studies. The thing is depending on what sort of sponsor you have, they might not like the idea of moving faster than they say you should. Some sponsors will hold a person on step one until they are certain the sponsee really does admit powerlessness etc., others like those in the old days, feel if you overcame the fear of asking for help, or walking into a meeting full of strangers, that shows you had accepted that your life was unmanageable and your will power had failed, steps one and two pretty well done.

The book says the spiritual principles grow on us and become automatic, “a working part of the mind,” for that there is probably no shortcut. It’s a matter of saying we are not in charge our higher power is, and as we go along we forget that and get all tied up and ill at ease, then maybe say something like the serenity prayer to remind ourselves. After a time this understanding of a higher power just gets simpler, we ask for direction and get answers by a sort of hunch or feeling of what the right move is. I heard someone say that praying about a problem relaxes us, and gives the answer which was already in our mind a chance to become more obvious.

The book also says they are several other useful books on spirituality, it’s a spiritual program and once we get over the urge to have a drink, that’s where our joy and serenity will come from. The trick I think is in finding those spiritual writers who you find have the words which make the most sense to you, many of these types of books are available free online as a pdf, or if you are like me they can be ‘stolen’ on pirate bay, or maybe there is a library you can see them at for free. However you can get spiritual material, reading it will help, and only a bit at a time, it’s kind of boring stuff and we should read and stop to ponder what the meaning is, we can’t just read these things like a normal book.

Best of luck, and don’t be shy about asking any questions here.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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Spirit Flower
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Re: How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by Spirit Flower »

Brock is right to mention that sponsors have different speeds at which they take people through the steps.

When I was new, I really wanted to feel better as soon as possible. I was an emotional mess. So, besides the Big Book, I got the 12x12 and The Little Red Book (which is also on the steps). When my sponsor had me working step one, I read step one in all these books, as little every morning as a form of meditation. I mean, don't speed read but read a little, ponder and journal. My sponsor had me work on each step for about 2 weeks. Any slower would have been too frustrating. It is possible to go faster. At the rate I went, there was plenty of time to digest my feelings.

AA speakers is a good suggestion. Going to real meetings or zoom meetings. Calling others in the program. I know it is scary to call people you haven't met, but "you have to be a friend to make a friend" they told me. Service work (helping others) might also be available.
...a score card reading zero...

Mike O
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Re: How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by Mike O »

If you feel that your sponsor is not taking you through the work quickly enough, tell him/her.

Personally, I went through the steps on my own, exactly as described in the book. I did them honestly and thoroughly but quickly. Of course, I needed a friend for steps 4&5. Then I started living in the way the book describes. This way does not suit everybody, but it's been working for me for 12 years now.

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dralius
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Re: How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by dralius »

Acts of kindness.

My sponsor was very big on the idea of getting out of self. He said the best way to do this is to help others even if only in small ways. He even went as far as tasking me to find with ways to help others anonymously so there was no pride involved in it.
"There is no greater disaster than discontent."
-Loazi...

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avaneesh912
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Re: How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by avaneesh912 »

In addition, besides prayer and meditation, how else can i try and not be in "self"?
I didn't know first of all that I was selfish and self-centered. To begin with, I didnt even know the difference between the 2 terms/words here. To be selfish is very clear. But what does it mean to be self-centered? The things that happen as the book says fantasy or real between our ears, that I saw was more of an issue than anything else. Thats where Inventory comes into play. In those days, you can see those stories under "pioneer segment" they didnt waste too much time and got down to brass tax, taking inventory. They learned the areas they need to work on quickly. And set forth the plan to overcome the short-comings.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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positrac
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Re: How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by positrac »

D'oh wrote:
Fri Aug 21, 2020 4:58 am
I would usually say 90 in 90 Days, but Covid has that messed up.

Read the BB, Call your Sponsor, Have a pocket full of Sweets, Slow Down and look around you "Life is awesome Sober!" Keep up the Good Work, 42 Days is Great!
I am and have been a huge believer of 90 & 90 because it provides a means to filling that gap from those drinking days. Also rushing to get the steps done and thinking it will be just great with that forever after ending is a set up for relapse. Slow up and listen and just know time heals our worst, but life reminds us of our destruction.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

Indianapolis
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Re: How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by Indianapolis »

I struggled a bit with my sponsor's speed at the start -- it was approx. 3 months before we moved from Steps 1 - 3 into Step 4. Gosh, that felt like an eternity.

During that time, I hit 1-2 meetings per day, read everything I could, and otherwise absorbed myself in the program. Some great reading options for me were:
- The Big Book
- Recovery by Russell Brand
- The 12 and 12
- "Writing the Big Book", which is an intense history of AA in the first three years.
- "The More you Do The Better you Feel" -- a book on procrastination, which is definitely one of my defects
- Several books on addiction and brain chemistry

Another option I found later, but would recommend, is the Joe & Charlie audio tape series.

With hindsight, I'm glad my sponsor moved slowly to Step 4. Saying I'd surrendered in Step 3 was one thing -- proving it was another. Actions speak louder than words, and during that time I truly proved to myself that I'd dedicated to the program and given my life to my higher powers.

So now, as I'm sponsoring others, I'm now asking that they pause there for a bit also. Maybe not always 3 months, maybe shorter or longer, but long enough for them to prove to themselves through action that they've internalized steps 1 - 3. I ask them to use the time, dive into reading, meetings, and networking with drunks. For whatever its worth, there are tons of great ways to fill that time.

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PaigeB
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Re: How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by PaigeB »

Most places have Zoom meetings available instead of face-to-face - at all hours of the day.
And of course E-aa is part of a larger online AA community from around the world at https://aa-intergroup.org/

I went to alot of meetings. And I read the corresponding Step I was working with sponsor from the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions book, online here https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/read-the ... traditions. I also read and began to try and practice Steps 10 & 11. It is never to early to seek a prayer and meditation habit OR to try to gain some self awareness of my defect behaviors.

E-aa has a daily post of the Daily Reflections - which follows the Step of the month. August is Step 8.
viewforum.php?f=52

I try to think of all the things I did to get drunk and do THAT many things to stay sober. Calls helped a lot! :idea:
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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positrac
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Re: How to work the work in from the start!?

Post by positrac »

Funny looking at modern times in our world at how much we have available at an moments notice and or click of the mouse ect.
I was on my job and I was able to meet up with a member of the program and good friend. We had some time to fellowship and catch up and compare and whatnot.

We were reflecting on early recovery and those growing pains of life on life's terms at any cause. We served in the same countries and saw the same terror of survival and we didn't drink over the mental traumas.

If we are ready to get sober then I believe our desires are more important. Learning to cut ourselves some slack and or getting out of our own ways does heaps for our self-esteem.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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