New to AA, but not Recovery

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.
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StephenD
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New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by StephenD » Wed Feb 05, 2020 10:58 pm

Good Evening,

Here's a little background on me. After my military service, I became addicted to a different mind altering drug, and denied I had a problem with alcohol, despite getting a DUI. I went to rehab and maintained sobriety from both alcohol and my other DOC for quite some time. I then decided to have the occasional drink. Big mistake. I currently work at a rehab myself, and feel completely ashamed, because last night I wrecked my car due to alcohol. Had someone pick me up and talked to an officer at my apartment later that night and was asked to cover a shift tonight. I told my parents what I'd done. They were upset, disappointed and angry, with very good reason, and now I'm at work with a bunch of sleeping clients feeling like the biggest hypocrite on Earth. I'm really just looking for someone to talk to besides my family and to keep my mind from worrying about my car and if it's totaled or not and what I'm going to do about one of the biggest wake up calls I've gotten in my path to recovery in a very long time.

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Jojo2
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by Jojo2 » Thu Feb 06, 2020 1:53 am

StephenD wrote:
Wed Feb 05, 2020 10:58 pm
Good Evening,
I went to rehab and maintained sobriety from both alcohol and my other DOC for quite some time. I then decided to have the occasional drink. Big mistake.
Welcome and thank you for reaching out, Stephen. I am glad you are here.

The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.

You don't mention going to meetings or working the Steps

You will find much information and resources by following the links below:

A.A. Near You.

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

Outside US and Canada >

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa- ... es/world/1


The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous online link is
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline

The following chapters are a good place to start:

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

To request a temporary sponsor to get you started with the AA programme until you secure a face to face sponsor, please complete our form here:

http://www.e-aa.org/form_sponsors.php

A temporary sponsor is a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous who is willing to share their experience, strength, and hope with another alcoholic as a way of service to help insure their own sobriety.

Their main function is to help guide the new person towards the 12 Steps, and also, where appropriate, to help guide the new person to face to face meetings and a f2f sponsor in their local AA community.

An excellent introduction on sponsorship, permanent or temporary, with questions and answers, is this pamphlet
from GSO :

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship:
http://aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

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avaneesh912
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by avaneesh912 » Thu Feb 06, 2020 5:32 am

I'm really just looking for someone to talk to besides my family and to keep my mind from worrying about my car and if it's totaled or not and what I'm going to do about one of the biggest wake up calls I've gotten in my path to recovery in a very long time.
Welcome to the forum. As Jojo pointed out visit a local AA meeting, preferably literature based. Also there are lot of workshops on youtube you can have a good cognition of how un-manageability leads us back to powerlessness. The first step in recovery is realizing that we are alcoholic/addict. And that if we dont start cleaning up, we will drink again.

Go back to the days after your rehab. See how you progressed back to drinking. That can happen even now if you dont work the steps.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

Mike O
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by Mike O » Sat Feb 08, 2020 1:28 am

Hi Stephen. Welcome.
😁
I would agree with Avaneesh regarding the 12 steps.
For me, just not drinking wasn’t enough. I thought I was stopped drinking but I was really just taking a break until the next time. I read the book Alcoholics Anonymous and did what was suggested in it in twelve simple (though not always easy) steps. That was 12 years ago and it seems to be working.
I wonder why you felt like you were ok to take that first drink. I wonder was it the peculiar mental twist mentioned in the book?
The steps really do work. I have seen proof of this in so many people who had reached a state of absolute despair.

PS: You can get another car 😉

StephenD
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by StephenD » Sat Feb 08, 2020 2:27 pm

Thank you to all for replying! I appreciate it. I've been wrapped up in work, hence the late reply. Working at a recovery center left me with a lot of supportive co-workers. I fell into a state of boredom, loneliness, and felt I could drink "normally" since I was able to control it for a short period of time. Big mistake! One of my co-workers has agreed to sponsor me. I'm trying to look at the positives right now; only my car and my pride were wrecked in my accident. I still have a place to live, food to eat, my job, and my health. Things could have been a lot worse. It was a hefty wake up call, and a "sobering" experience...pun intended. I will be diving into the program with my sponsor and hitting meetings. I needed to get it out of my system multiple times because it felt surreal and I didn't wanna be stuck in my head and fall into the circle of feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for the advice everyone 8)

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Jojo2
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by Jojo2 » Sat Feb 08, 2020 3:35 pm

StephenD wrote:
Sat Feb 08, 2020 2:27 pm
Thank you to all for replying! I appreciate it. I've been wrapped up in work, hence the late reply. Working at a recovery center left me with a lot of supportive co-workers. I fell into a state of boredom, loneliness, and felt I could drink "normally" since I was able to control it for a short period of time. Big mistake! One of my co-workers has agreed to sponsor me. I'm trying to look at the positives right now; only my car and my pride were wrecked in my accident. I still have a place to live, food to eat, my job, and my health. Things could have been a lot worse. It was a hefty wake up call, and a "sobering" experience...pun intended. I will be diving into the program with my sponsor and hitting meetings. I needed to get it out of my system multiple times because it felt surreal and I didn't wanna be stuck in my head and fall into the circle of feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for the advice everyone 8)
Good to hear from you again, Stephen.

How soon are you planning to get to a meeting and to 'dive into the the Programme' ?

StephenD
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by StephenD » Sat Feb 08, 2020 4:19 pm

I've just gotten my sponsor last night and got that set up. I'm looking into meetings tonight to see if any are available at a reasonable time based on my work schedule. Basically ASAP. I believe there is a noon meeting I can hit tomorrow, which I'll definitely attend. My car accident opened my eyes too much for me to make another mistake and pick up a drink again. I can only escape fate so many times and walk away basically unscathed or God forbid hurt someone else.

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Jojo2
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by Jojo2 » Sun Feb 09, 2020 2:31 am

StephenD wrote:
Sat Feb 08, 2020 4:19 pm
I've just gotten my sponsor last night and got that set up. I'm looking into meetings tonight to see if any are available at a reasonable time based on my work schedule. Basically ASAP. I believe there is a noon meeting I can hit tomorrow, which I'll definitely attend. My car accident opened my eyes too much for me to make another mistake and pick up a drink again. I can only escape fate so many times and walk away basically unscathed or God forbid hurt someone else.
Yes. You will meet many who arrived in a similar position. I was breathalysed for the first time in my life after about 9 days in AA. I was returning from an AA meeting at the time on a Sunday evening. I realised that was my HP reminding me how very different that experience might have been and I felt enormous gratitude to be given that opportunity. I must have been the happiest person the police stopped that night!

Hope the meeting goes well. Keep us posted.

StephenD
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by StephenD » Sun Feb 09, 2020 4:19 pm

Due to my work schedule and being exhausted after getting home, I haven't been able to attend a meeting. However, there were 2 AA speakers at my work that I sat in on with the clients I work for in the recovery center. On another note; I found my car in the impound and it is definitely totaled. I can't believe I only walked away with a sore knee, chest pain from the air bag, and a sore shoulder from the seat belt. I haven't thought about a drink since, but it is still very early after my accident. I'm just picking up the pieces, figuring out what I'm going to face legally, what options I have for a vehicle for now, and I'm going to most likely have to sell the car to the impound just to pay the fees for how long it's been there since the police report is taking FOREVER while they are waiting on surveillance footage. Luckily, they don't have any proof I was drinking, which is a blessing in disguise from the wreck. I've been praying to be lifted from my anxiety and to give me the strength to face these consequences ahead.

Theo50
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by Theo50 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 8:50 am

Your car can be replaced. Be thankful that no one else got hurt. I don't know where you live, but public transportation was my main mode of getting anywhere for the 8 months my license was suspended. I did a lot of walking as well. If you can't get to any F2F meetings, there are also some great Youtube audios/videos available to watch to keep your mind in a better place. I would suggest the "Joe & Charlie" audios.

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PaigeB
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by PaigeB » Mon Feb 10, 2020 11:43 am

StephenD wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 4:19 pm
Due to my work schedule and being exhausted after getting home, I haven't been able to attend a meeting....I've been praying to be lifted from my anxiety and to give me the strength to face these consequences ahead.
AA Near You
https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
There might be the perfect meeting in your neighborhood! That would be a happy surprise wouldn't it!? :o :wink:

Also at that link is a resource for finding online meetings, but it is my Experience that exhaustion is a perfect condition for going to an AA meeting. They usually have free coffee and you are only asked to sit for an hour! My REWARD has been a good group of friends and a Peace (for an hour at least) that I have NEVER been able to get before. I am certain there is some personal reaction for speaker tapes and working with the addicted, but nothing like the Gift I receive when I go to an AA meeting because I NEED to be there for my own change. Go there, shake hands, tell them you are new and then LISTEN. I know that I thought I knew a lot about staying sober, but I really only knew about getting drunk. It might save your life and someday you will be able to pass it on without feeling like a hypocrite.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Spirit Flower
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by Spirit Flower » Tue Feb 11, 2020 5:42 pm

Last night I was in a meeting where a guy mentioned that he had just met another man who had worked in a treatment center but had got drunk after 17 years. The poor man had thought that since he spent all day in a treatment center that he didn't need meetings and had quit doing and of his own step work. He didn't attend meetings for himself.

After the relapse, he realized his mistakes and changed. Now he works the steps and goes to meetings just like anyone else. He keeps his work separate from his program.
...a score card reading zero...

retired baker
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by retired baker » Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:34 am

StephenD wrote:
Wed Feb 05, 2020 10:58 pm
Good Evening,

Here's a little background on me. After my military service, I became addicted to a different mind altering drug, and denied I had a problem with alcohol, despite getting a DUI. I went to rehab and maintained sobriety from both alcohol and my other DOC for quite some time. I then decided to have the occasional drink. Big mistake. I currently work at a rehab myself, and feel completely ashamed, because last night I wrecked my car due to alcohol. Had someone pick me up and talked to an officer at my apartment later that night and was asked to cover a shift tonight. I told my parents what I'd done. They were upset, disappointed and angry, with very good reason, and now I'm at work with a bunch of sleeping clients feeling like the biggest hypocrite on Earth. I'm really just looking for someone to talk to besides my family and to keep my mind from worrying about my car and if it's totaled or not and what I'm going to do about one of the biggest wake up calls I've gotten in my path to recovery in a very long time.
I worked for a guy who drunk drove and killed a kid on a bike, he's out of jail now. Still drinks.
Wake up calls don't work long term from my observation.

I used to chair a meeting at a rehab near Boston, over the 2 yrs we were there 3 counselors killed themselves.
They thought they were "in the program".

Some don't get the message, they are the message.

Be well.

MyNameIsBetsy
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Re: New to AA, but not Recovery

Post by MyNameIsBetsy » Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:30 pm

Some don't get the message, they are the message.
Wow, Retired Baker, just wow. That is quite the image. I've watched a number of people go in and out of our program, and tried to sponsor one who eventually died. I've never thought about it quite this way.

Just me, but I'd rather be in the middle of the herd and not be on the edge. Reading your post makes me grateful for my sobriety.

Betsy, an alcoholic
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

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