My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

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Britney.carrin
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My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

Post by Britney.carrin » Mon Jan 06, 2020 12:43 pm

I celebrated my first year of sobriety in over ten years this past Friday, but it wasn’t at all how I expected it to be. The program I was working left me feeling ostracized, and with terrible social anxiety my year in recovery didn’t really help me make very many friends. I was hoping to find a sense of community in these forums that the real world lacks for me. If there’s anybody looking to (and for) support, I could really use some friends in my corner. Thank you.

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PaigeB
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Re: My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

Post by PaigeB » Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:51 pm

Britney.carrin wrote:
Mon Jan 06, 2020 12:43 pm
I celebrated my first year of sobriety in over ten years this past Friday, but it wasn’t at all how I expected it to be. The program I was working left me feeling ostracized, and with terrible social anxiety my year in recovery didn’t really help me make very many friends. I was hoping to find a sense of community in these forums that the real world lacks for me. If there’s anybody looking to (and for) support, I could really use some friends in my corner. Thank you.
Welcome Britney! Glad you found us! I love this Forum and come here daily - usually in the Afternoons. Keep coming back.

Have you worked the 12 Steps with a sponsor? That really helped me A LOT. It is the key to long term sobriety!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

Britney.carrin
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Re: My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

Post by Britney.carrin » Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:54 pm

PaigeB wrote:
Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:51 pm
Britney.carrin wrote:
Mon Jan 06, 2020 12:43 pm
I celebrated my first year of sobriety in over ten years this past Friday, but it wasn’t at all how I expected it to be. The program I was working left me feeling ostracized, and with terrible social anxiety my year in recovery didn’t really help me make very many friends. I was hoping to find a sense of community in these forums that the real world lacks for me. If there’s anybody looking to (and for) support, I could really use some friends in my corner. Thank you.
Welcome Britney! Glad you found us! I love this Forum and come here daily - usually in the Afternoons. Keep coming back.

Have you worked the 12 Steps with a sponsor? That really helped me A LOT. It is the key to long term sobriety!

Thank you :] no, I haven’t done any stepwork in AA and I don’t have a sponsor currently.

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PaigeB
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Re: My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

Post by PaigeB » Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:59 pm

Here's a link to an in-house temporary sponsor facility we have here, please feel free to ask any questions or make any comments, AA’s enjoy helping one another.

http://www.e-aa.org/form_sponsors.php
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Brock
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Re: My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

Post by Brock » Mon Jan 06, 2020 6:50 pm

Welcome Britney.

It’s a pity AA hasn't lived up to your expectations, and I suspect that this may be quite a common complaint. The way AA meetings are often portrayed to the public is as a ‘support group,’ so it’s fair that newcomers might expect support concerning all their problems, and some friendship as well.

To my mind and interpretation of the literature, meetings should more be a learning center for the steps. You mention the program you were working, but I am afraid you haven’t started the program, the program is the steps. There we learn how to depend on a higher power, we gain in confidence and are able to greatly reduce anxiety, the program promises serenity, and it’s a lovely way to live.

You reminded me of a thread we have on expectations, doing the program we learn to reduce these as well, it’s here -
www.e-aa.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=36&t ... 73#p161773

If you do these steps as written, you will not be disappointed.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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Layne
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Re: My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

Post by Layne » Mon Jan 06, 2020 8:08 pm

Hi Britney and congrats on a year of sobriety. There is a sense of community and people to be in your corner on here.

I found what I was looking for by working the twelve steps of AA. Any feelings of being ostracized that I had were eliminated during the process of working the steps and for the first time in my life I felt part of. Even more amazing was that being part of eased my social anxiety and I became comfortable in my own skin. The gifts of the the twelve steps just kept coming though because I discovered how to be a friend and in doing so found friends.

Recovery has been like a snowball running downhill, picking up steam and growing as it continues along. Working the twelve steps saved my life and made it a life worth living. It can happen for you as well. I am glad you here and I am looking forward to hearing more about your experiences as your journey continues.

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Jojo2
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Re: My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

Post by Jojo2 » Tue Jan 07, 2020 2:21 am

Britney.carrin wrote:
Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:54 pm


I haven’t done any stepwork in AA and I don’t have a sponsor currently.
We do provide a Temporary Sponsor facility here at e-AA

To request a temporary sponsor to get you started with the AA programme, please complete our form here:

http://www.e-aa.org/form_sponsors.php

A temporary sponsor is a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous who is willing to share their experience, strength, and hope with another alcoholic as a way of service to help insure their own sobriety.

Their main function is to help guide the new person towards the 12 Steps, and also, where appropriate, to help guide the new person to face to face meetings and a f2f sponsor in their local AA community.

We assign women for women and men for men.

An excellent introduction on sponsorship, permanent or temporary, with questions and answers, is this pamphlet
from GSO :

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship:
http://aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

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positrac
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Re: My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

Post by positrac » Tue Jan 07, 2020 3:46 am

Hello and welcome and congrats on a year sober. I hope this next year you will work to achieve another milestone in your life and that is 2 years sober with a better feeling of life sober.

I am no expert about this stuff and I am one of those alone in a stadium full of 40,000 people! I've learned to deal with it and also move when the heat got too hot as well. It is an inside job and I have to be mindful of looking at me and less at others and how they experience life and sobriety as for me I'll be really disappointed if I try and compare.

Another thing is AA is just people and if you aren't feeling it at one location then go to another location and also literature meetings that focus on the root causes of our disease are very educational and will keep us sober.

My points are merely suggestions and I know we need people and yet I know I am my worst enemy if I get too much me time between the ears as I might start believing what I think I am hearing and then I'll get drunk.

One day at a time is said because I am a terrible planner and for me this day is all I can handle. I hope you will look and find the right solutions to improve your quality of sobriety in 2020.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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Spirit Flower
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Re: My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

Post by Spirit Flower » Tue Jan 07, 2020 4:19 pm

Early in the program, an old timer told me, "you have to be a friend to make a friend." And also said, "Why don't you call _____? She would make a good friend." So the responsibility for making friends was put squarely on my shoulders; and the old timers didn't give a sh!t about social anxiety. They just said to get over it.

Actually, after that first phone call, I had a friend for life. So 5 minutes of forcing myself to call someone plus decades of friendship. Think about it.
...a score card reading zero...

MyNameIsBetsy
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Re: My first year of sobriety on January 3rd

Post by MyNameIsBetsy » Sun Jan 12, 2020 9:51 am

The program I was working left me feeling ostracized, and with terrible social anxiety my year in recovery didn’t really help me make very many friends
Hello Britney, good morning (it's morning here in California!).

Sometimes when we walk in the AA door, we need help beyond what the 12 steps and this wonderful fellowship can provide. There are many competent mental health providers who understand our program of recovery. Those therapists and counselors can work with you to help you "fit in" better. It's worth a try.

I used a therapist when I got sober. I was scared by the emotional swings I was experiencing, and wanted someone trained in mental health to keep an eye on me. My experience was positive and, eventually, I no longer felt the need to continue with therapy. I had grown, felt more confident in my recovery, and had better tools for living a sober life.

Just a suggestion . . . it might be worth considering getting some outside help in addition to working with a local sponsor to take those 12 steps!

Good luck, and please let us know how you are doing.

Betsy
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

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