Don't know if AA is right for me

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Saltydawgg
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Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by Saltydawgg »

Hello everyone,

I will openly say that I exhibit some bad drinking habits. There are weeks where I will drink every night, sometimes in excess of 6 drinks or more. Don't really blackout anymore, but I was semi-regularly within the last year. Drinking has caused some problems for me, namely financial ones, though my drinking is not solely to blame for those. Within the last month, I have been attempting to cut back on my drinking, and have had some success, namely this last week in which I did not have a single drink in any of the 7 days.

I don't feel as if my life is out of control; it has been close, but hasn't gotten to that point yet. I love drinking, and am of the mind that almost anything isn't bad in moderation. And I want that to include alcohol. There are times where it is totally appropriate and acceptable to drink, and even be inebriated to a degree.

Basically I don't know how to proceed. Do you start AA with the intent to never drink again in your life? I don't want that for myself. I feel as though I have the strength to gain better discipline (in all areas of my life) and have an easier time moderating my drinking. But of course, I could be wrong and my attempts will fail. Is AA the only answer then?

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beginningagain7
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Re: Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by beginningagain7 »

What you said sounds familiar to me. For there was a time that I went through the same thinking about drinking. And yes there were times that I could go without a drink. But I always ended back to drinking. And I also didn't feel that alcohol wasn't the problem with my financial situation. But the reality drinking was a problem with my finances. I discovered that when I did my 4th Step.

Now I cannot say if AA is right for you. Only you can determine that. I would suggest that you get Alcoholics Anonymous, Big Book and read it. It might help you. Or you can go through the post that are in the Forum and read people's stories.

Welcome to the Forum.
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Saltydawgg
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Re: Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by Saltydawgg »

Thank you for the reply. I have been reading posts on here throughout the day. Some resonate with me, others not so much. I am going to continue working with my counselor... If AA is the right (or only) choice for me, then I will accept that.

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beginningagain7
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Re: Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by beginningagain7 »

There are people that also see a counselor and use A.A. so you do not have only one choice. I see a counselor
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avaneesh912
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Re: Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by avaneesh912 »

have had some success, namely this last week in which I did not have a single drink in any of the 7 days.
Welcome to the forum. Try to stay stopped for a year and more importantly observe how you handle your emotions. Is there discontentment? Are you irritable? Restless? You could add more like boredom anxiety. This would give you a good gauge whether you need the program of AA.

AA is for people who have arrived at a conclusion that they cannot moderate and are willing to give it a try of living without alcohol. The program then can help you lead a serene life.

You can read the book alcoholics anonymous especially the chapter "More about alcoholism" and see if you can relate to how the alcoholic mind operates. Through out the book they talk about the blank spots/peculiar mental twists the alcoholic runs into. This could be after weeks, months years of staying sober but people fall victim to the disease, because they are not aware of what they are up against.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Brock
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Re: Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by Brock »

Welcome to the forum.

It’s quite possible that you may be able to stop drinking on your own, if you realize that you can't drink 'normally', for example if you can't have one or two and stop without a craving for more, our main text known as the Big Book speaks about this -
 Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time. We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so.
But it also warns us about fooling ourselves by saying this -
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self- deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about- face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
I will put up links to some chapters in the big book, and also a sort of test AA has, 12 questions. Please try to believe that if you are indeed an alcoholic, and can’t drink ‘normally,’ this is not a sentence to some sort of glum nerdy life, the AA program actually shows us a very good way to live, and people who do it don’t miss drinking at all.


Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-42_abriefguidetoaa.pdf

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

MyNameIsBetsy
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Re: Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by MyNameIsBetsy »

Basically I don't know how to proceed. Do you start AA with the intent to never drink again in your life?
Hi SaltyDawgg, welcome. Congratulations on asking the hard questions. I can tell you that I started AA with a scared-out-of-my-mind intent to stay sober because I wasn't able to do it by myself. I don't know if I considered that sobriety would be a life long commitment . . . all I wanted was to NOT drink. I didn't know how to do that by myself.

Now with a few years of sobriety behind me, what I know is that alcohol and I don't get along. I can't trust it. It is better to stay completely away from the alcohol than to ever attempt to control it again.

As for you, my suggestion is to go to a few local AA meetings and listen to what the AAers are sharing. Do you identify with the problems the AAers describe? Have you done it, thought it, felt it? If you identify with what is being shared, you might have the same illness we all do. And if you have the same illness, then the solution which works for us might work for you too.

You owe it to yourself to find out.

Betsy
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

innermost
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Re: Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by innermost »

Saltydawgg

The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.

From the AA Big Book:
If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking.
If you still believe you have control by all means exercise your control if you choose.
If you find you have lost control and your life is unmanageable and
you have the desire to stop drinking we will be here in the rooms of AA.

Also you could attend open AA meetings and see if you maybe alcoholic by relating with alcoholics.
Get yourself the book Alcoholics Anonymous and see if this program resonates on your insides.
Maybe you will find your an Alcoholic in the making, who knows.
Maybe your not a alcoholic.
We have a serious reaction to alcohol that is similar to an allergic reaction.
I use to break out with being ten foot tall and bullet proof.
A real Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde type person.

You will have to come to your own conclusions and lets hope your not a REAL alcoholic.

Also I apologize is any of this is repeat information.
The first 164 pg. is the program!

tomsteve
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Re: Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by tomsteve »

theres only one step that talks about alcohol because alcohol is only a symptom of deeper problems.
hats off if you can control your drinking. myself, trying to work the steps while still drinking had no effect.
attending meetings- court ordered- screwed up my drinking and planted a seed. i knew whete to get help when i was ready for help.

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PaigeB
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Re: Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by PaigeB »

Saltydawgg wrote:
Sun Nov 24, 2019 7:38 pm
Do you start AA with the intent to never drink again in your life? I don't want that for myself. I feel as though I have the strength to gain better discipline (in all areas of my life) and have an easier time moderating my drinking. But of course, I could be wrong and my attempts will fail. Is AA the only answer then?
I just wanted to give my liver a break. But I found that with AA people were staying sober for years, not just for months, at a time. I was in for about 3 months when I decided to do the Steps with a sponsor and see if I could get years of sobriety too... after 3 months I kinda liked being sober! I haven't have a drink since Aug. 1, 2009 and I am grateful to Alcoholics Anonymous for that.

I tried lots of things over my 40 year drinking career. AA was the only answer for me.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

Mike O
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Re: Don't know if AA is right for me

Post by Mike O »

Saltydawgg wrote:
Sun Nov 24, 2019 7:38 pm
And I want that to include alcohol.
So do I. But, I’m an alcoholic, so it does not.
You sound very much like I felt 12 or so years back. I tried very hard to rationalise my drinking. It never really occurred to me that the vast majority of people I knew did not have to do this.
Welcome here. Stick around.
Read the Big Book and see if it reveals anything.
😁

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