Newbie, quitting again.

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Newbie, quitting again.

Postby escultore » Mon Jan 08, 2018 3:19 pm

Hey all,

I’ve just quit drinking. I’m on day 4. Not feeling too rough, mostly. Funny thing is, I didn’t really get hangovers when I was drinking; when I don’t drink, I wake up feeling like death!

Anyways. I quit drinking with the help of AA for a year, two years ago. Then I (of course) thought I’d cracked it, so started to drink one or two here and there. We all know how that goes, right? Soon enough I’m drinking a litre of whiskey in a few hours every night.

So I’m here. I went to a meeting last Friday, and I’ll attend regularly. As regularly as I can bear, anyway. I avoid people as much as I can due to almost crippling shyness. But the people in the group are awesome.

My last quit was good, but I clearly wasn’t ready to quit properly because forever seems like a long damn time! I was hanging on to that longing I guess most of us have; the wish to be a normal drinker. I hope I can learn my lesson.

Nice to meet you all =biggrin
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Re: Newbie, quitting again.

Postby beginningagain7 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 5:56 pm

Sometimes it takes several tries until you get the picture that you just can not take that first drink. Hopefully this last experience has shown you that.

So go back and redo the Steps in a different approach.

I have said that thinking is bad for my health. Which was when I stated to think that hey I have been sober so many years that just maybe I can do it normal. Bad thinking. So when those thoughts have come into my mind I go right to Step One. And then my thinking gets in the right form of mind.

Welcome back to A.A.

Have a good day,
John T.
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Re: Newbie, quitting again.

Postby Brock » Mon Jan 08, 2018 6:58 pm

Welcome here escultore, and back to AA.

I myself had a few tries before taking it seriously enough to do the steps, I have found attending meetings helped me stay sober, but like you I wished I wasn’t an alcoholic. Even one high paying job which included the possibility of random drug and alcohol testing, a whole year without a drop but unhappy as hell, chucked it all in, no amount of money or company car and perks make being a dry drunk worthwhile.

A few years later I returned to AA in bad shape and gave it an honest shot, doing those steps which I never thought necessary before. The difference was like night and day, and the words in the book came true - “the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us." It sounds kind of lame, but I swear if someone could wave a magic wand and I was no longer alcoholic, I wouldn’t be interested in drinking.

I’m glad you found a group with folks you like, I hope they talk about the steps and maybe you ask someone to show you the ropes, do those steps and you will see a new way of life, one that beats even your best days of drinking hands down. Maybe you will keep in touch here as well, there are some good AA’s on these forums, and we enjoy discussing all sorts of stuff.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Newbie, quitting again.

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Jan 09, 2018 5:18 am

Then I (of course) thought I’d cracked it, so started to drink one or two here and there.

Yes. I could relate to your story and also Fred the accountant story in the chapter more about alcoholism. His mind said, He will just have a couple thats all. Not a cloud on the horizon. Thats what the alcoholics do. All we learned in AA or treatment centers dont even cloud our memory prior to picking up that first drink. Thats true powerlessness.

This realization should happen to everyone. That they are alcoholic. Their mind tricks them into taking the first drink over and over again. Then we could launch on the rest of the program. Recovery is going to meetings, working closely with the sponsor and achieving an attitude shift (Spiritual awakening). And once the obsession gets lifted, we start carrying the message to another who is suffering.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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