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Here we go again.

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 1:35 pm
by Feeya
Hi my name is Feeya and I am an alcoholic.
As of today I am three days sober.
I have been here before and I thought I had hit bottom and could not fall any deeper. I learned that I could.
And I did.
Alcohol won this battle but that doesn't mean I failed.

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:01 pm
by ezdzit247
Hi Feeya

Congrats on 3 days sober!

Don't worry about yesterday. last week, etc. Stay in today. Keeping the plug in the jug one day at a time worked for me and it's still working.

Went to our local monthly AA intergroup meeting last Sunday and thought of you when the YPAA rep announced that our district was adding another YP meeting to our local meeting schedule. That makes a total of 3 local YPAA meetings for young AA members in our little corner of California. Have you contacted the ICYPAA rep for meetings in Germany?

Keep coming back.....

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:06 pm
by Spirit Flower
Welcome back Feeya :D

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:15 pm
by Duke
There's something that keeps you coming back. I'm glad you do. Welcome back. We're not going anywhere.

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:19 pm
by Chelle
I just logged on to send u a pm and there you are. I'm glad you are here :D

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 3:59 pm
by D'oh
Glad you are back Feeya.

And as Edzit has stated, "All of Our Yesterdays, have just brought Us to Today" Have we learnt anything from them?

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 9:05 pm
by Feeya
ezdzit247 wrote:Hi Feeya

Have you contacted the ICYPAA rep for meetings in Germany?
I haven't, but I had another AA friend call. They are talking about doing a YPAA meeting here. I don't really have any info, as I haven't really been in touch lately.

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 9:06 pm
by Feeya
D'oh wrote:Have we learnt anything from them?
Yes!

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 12:11 am
by Tosh
Feeya wrote: I thought I had hit bottom and could not fall any deeper. I learned that I could.
I think a rock bottom is simply the point at which we've suffered enough and become willing to try something different. I've had a sober rock bottom too where life looked pretty bleak - pointless - yet I also felt that I should be happy, but wasn't.

That was when I asked someone to be my sponsor; not after a drinking rock bottom where something catastrophic happened, but a sober one.

I've no problems being drunk - I did that well - but living sober is my problem. My rock bottom kinda helped me 'let go' and be guided through the program.

It works.

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 2:17 am
by Feeya
One of my closest friends past away on Sunday.
I wasn't able to say goodbye because I was drunk and asleep while they rushed him to the hospital.
That must never ever happen again.

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 3:44 am
by avaneesh912
Willingness to recover must arise from within. Its a gift from divine. Pray for that.

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 4:45 am
by Hanna
Welcome back Feeya. You can do this, keep in the forefront of your mind this feeling
Feeya wrote:One of my closest friends past away on Sunday.
I wasn't able to say goodbye because I was drunk and asleep while they rushed him to the hospital.
That must never ever happen again.
At 4 1/2 yrs sober, I still replay in my mind the day I hit rock bottom, I never want to return to that place and those feelings I always woke up with, the torture in my mind of why did I drink again. Stay close to the program of AA and you will never have to feel like this again. I wish you peace and serenity, it's yours if you take the steps.
Hanna

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 10:07 am
by Mike O
Welcome back, Feeya and well done on 3 days.
Get crackin' on those steps - it's all you need.
:D

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 10:27 am
by Brock
I've no problems being drunk - I did that well - but living sober is my problem.
What Tosh said as quoted is the key I believe, to understanding why even some of those who have completed the steps go back to drinking. Sometimes we see the steps after #9 referred to as 'maintenance' steps, when they in fact are designed as opportunities for growth.

If all we are is sober, even if we can boast that the urge to drink has disappeared, unless we are contented with our new life, the bottom we had starts to look not so bad after all. #11 in particular encourages us to look for spiritual growth, there are so many books, many free on the internet, that we should be able to find a writer we are able to understand and enjoy. I used to think people who said they wouldn't drink even if they were no longer alcoholics, were exaggerating, but in truth I wouldn't want booze to mess with the life I have found, even if I could stop after a couple. As Bill said this spiritual awaking comes to some of us slowly, we must seek it as Sandy B often points out in his talks. Once we start to see some of the fruits of this awaking we want more, then we continue seeking because we want to not because we must, at step 12 it says having had a spiritual awaking as a result of the steps, it's something we need to have.

Re: Here we go again.

Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:29 am
by positrac
It is said one day at a time for a reason and the struggle is easier said than done! That last part pertains to everything because what is easy for you might be difficult for me and so on.

At least you are willing to be open on relapse and in time I believe you'll get that positrac motion going and it'll be no stopping you as traction is the key.

Suggestions are great because you can choose to either try or not. But it weighs on you in the end and so I suggest treading lightly until you can stand without so much help.

Be safe and keep coming back.