Thanks for the topic, and sorry you are having such bad experiences with AA meetings. I hated meetings for many years, hated the smoking, didn't get a lot out of the shares, etc... I am not a young woman, so I did not have your experience with getting hit on. But I hated meetings and never got a lot out of AA. I also never recovered from my alcoholism, and as many told me, it got worse.
Eventually, about 19 months ago, I reached a level of desperation where my comfort level wasn't as important and my willingness to do anything to get sober was at an all time high. They told me to go to at least 90 meetings in 90 days. I had been told that before and scoffed - I have a family, 5 kids including three in high school. How could I do that. My sponsor asked me that if I had found 90 hours in my last three months of drinking to get drunk. That was an obvious yes. He told me that if I wanted to recover, I would need to be just as committed to sobriety as I was to drinking.
I made it to more than 90 meetings in 90 days. My family wasn't too impacted, and I really was launched in recovery. I had a sponsor and worked the steps. I also stopped focusing on what other people were doing if it didn't have anything to do with recovery. I started to fellowship with those that had what I wanted, a reprieve from this disease. I was told to have a service commitment, attend business meetings, call other alcoholics, and basically plug into this program of action. When I did that, I didn't care about the obnoxious guy who made tasteless jokes, all the smokers (I detest the smell of cigarettes), the chronic relapsers, etc... I made friends, some of the best friends I have ever had. I met newcomers, and though many aren't ready to get this yet, when I shared with them, my recovery was strengthened. I spoke with oldtimers and listened to how they stayed sober.
Today, I have a life with much greater purpose. People have asked me to sponsor them, I have witnessed miracles and heartbreaks, but all the time I spend following this suggestions, my relationship with God and others improves. That is a testimony that is real. I don't need to convince you or anybody else that it is true. I know it is. I also know that you might not want this, and I have no ill feelings for you if that is the case. For 20 years, I found all the things I didn't like about AA. I am so grateful they didn't give up on me. I wish you all the best. Larry
Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny!!!