New Here

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.
Zeezee15
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New Here

Post by Zeezee15 » Fri Jan 01, 2016 6:09 pm

I'm an alcoholic, on my sixth day of sobriety now (this time). Just wanted to introduce myself and say thank you in advance for the support I know I will receive here. I haven't been to a meeting yet. I've quit once before, for 35 days last year on my own. This time was a little harder and I'm impatient for it to get easier. I'm a wife and mother and decided this really has to change because its taken over my life. I've also been dealing with depression, which the alcohol obviously doesn't help! I'm seeing two great therapists though and feel like I'm moving the right way. I just feel like I need non professionals to talk to in order to deal with some of what is to come.
Thanks for taking the time to read, and hello!

Lali
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Re: New Here

Post by Lali » Fri Jan 01, 2016 8:46 pm

Zeezee15 wrote:This time was a little harder and I'm impatient for it to get easier.
It will get easier but you have to take action. It's not just gonna happen. Have you ever been to a meeting? Did you get a meeting schedule when you quit last time? My advice would be to get to a meeting and let others know you want help. If you meet someone who seems to have it all together, ask them to guide you through the steps (someone who has worked the steps themselves).

This is a holiday weekend so you may not get a lot of responses here right away but others will be along.

Congrats on 6 days, BTW!
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

Robert R
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Re: New Here

Post by Robert R » Sat Jan 02, 2016 1:02 am

Welcome Zeezee, Congratulations on 6 days without a drink. In my experience just not drinking is not dealing with the problem. Without something else to hold onto I always drank again. Never managed 6 days or 35 until I surrendered fully and gave myself over to our simple programme, got to meetings, did the steps with another sober alcoholic, lived the programme to the best of my ability. It got easier, then life got better, my whole attitude and manner of living changed for the better. For this to occur I had to take action. Over 7 years now and living life fully for the first time in my life.
I pray daily for others to find what I have in AA, the door is open, you are welcome in my friend.
Don't know exactly where I am going but I'm on my way and it's already much better than where I've been.

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ann2
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Re: New Here

Post by ann2 » Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:45 am

Dear ZeeZee, welcome. I'm a wife and mother too and I know how hard it is to give myself the time I need to apply the solution that A.A. offers. But if I don't, being a wife and a mother won't mean anything in the long run. In order to be there for my husband and kids I need to exert myself to treat my alcoholism.

Luckily not much thinking is involved. I just have to follow the directions shared in meetings and written in the Big Book, our basic text. You can read it online at the main aa.org site

Other good reading sources are linked at this group's virtual literature page here e-aa.org/about_aa.php

Please let us know how you are doing!

Best,

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada

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avaneesh912
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Re: New Here

Post by avaneesh912 » Sat Jan 02, 2016 6:56 am

just feel like I need non professionals to talk to in order to deal with some of what is to come.
Yes, we who have gone through the wringer understand the situation better than those professionals. Ever heard of the drunk in the hole story?


A drunk fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in this hole he was in.

A doctor walked by. The drunk said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.

A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunks cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole.

A priest came by and the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I'll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful, he read the Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.

A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here." But the recovering alcoholic said, "It's okay, I've been here before, I know how to get out."

**-----***

Yes, we can share how we recovered from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body and spirit.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Spirit Flower
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Re: New Here

Post by Spirit Flower » Sat Jan 02, 2016 12:15 pm

I was in a meeting this morning which read the second half of step 3 in the 12x12.

I thought about the distinct difference between some one who quits on will power, and some one who quits with a higher power (whether that is the group or spiritual or consciousness). Just quitting without changing your life to a spiritual basis does not lead to emotional sobriety, and that person will drink again. Then another round of downward spirial.
...a score card reading zero...

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PaigeB
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Re: New Here

Post by PaigeB » Sat Jan 02, 2016 1:10 pm

We are the non-professionals for sure! What we have is actual experience, not college knowledge, about how to deal with sobriety! You will likely need us if you are an alcoholic like me. I could not, would not, quit on my own accord. It was scary and ugly and lonely ~ until I got to AA and did what they did!

Keep coming back!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

Zeezee15
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Re: New Here

Post by Zeezee15 » Sat Jan 02, 2016 1:28 pm

Thank you everyone, I'm attending my first meeting on Monday.. I do notice when I stop drinking I over do or get obsessed over something else - dietary control, working out to excess, ocd style house cleaning... Is this normal, has anyone else experienced this? I guess it's better than sitting around drinking and doing nothing!

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ann2
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Re: New Here

Post by ann2 » Sat Jan 02, 2016 1:49 pm

It's a great outlet for the energy to engage in some occupation that engages one's attention for hours. It's occasionally suggested to newcomers -- I overheard one oldtimer advising a newbie to clean his kitchen floor with a toothbrush, for example. Anything besides drinking . . . especially in the beginning, when we are dealing with the physical craving.

After withdrawal, anywhere from 3-7 days or longer for some, it's the mental obsession that we must address. The treatment for that is found in the 12 steps of recovery. We start with step 1, usually working with another A.A. member who's gone through them before with someone else . . . passing on the help that was so freely given when they came to A.A.

Removing the alcohol from our system is the immediate challenge. Our bodies are different from non-alcoholics: we can't just drink one, and any amount of alcohol in our systems sets up the reaction of wanting more. So get through that period any way you can! Me, I attended lots of meetings. It was a big help.

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada

Robert R
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Re: New Here

Post by Robert R » Sat Jan 02, 2016 1:54 pm

Hi Zeezee, obsessive behaviour :D oh yes indeed! Started to recede as I went through the steps with another alcoholic though and from listening to others this is a common pattern. I believe I was unconsciously trying to create order in my life where there was none, the result being more disorder Doh! Thank god for this simple programme and the peace and pleasure it has brought.
Don't know exactly where I am going but I'm on my way and it's already much better than where I've been.

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PaigeB
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Re: New Here

Post by PaigeB » Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:04 pm

Zeezee15 wrote:Thank you everyone, I'm attending my first meeting on Monday.. I do notice when I stop drinking I over do or get obsessed over something else - dietary control, working out to excess, ocd style house cleaning... Is this normal, has anyone else experienced this? I guess it's better than sitting around drinking and doing nothing!
Absolutely. I am a control freak and a chronic list maker! I also drink pop (diet) the way I used to drink beer! AND I practice AA the way I used to drink, 24/7/365. I was driving women to meetings starting with my first meeting and I was soon on the Public Information Committee and doing service at my home group. Most of those things I still do in some fashion 6 years later - and it is a joy!

Throw yourself into the middle of AA. This is an inside job, but DOING on the outside is imperative. "We learn by practicing" comes from a story on the last page of the last story in the Big Book. If you don't have one yet, you can read it here http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-liter ... -anonymous

Keep coming and we will keep sharing our experience!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Chelle
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Re: New Here

Post by Chelle » Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:51 pm

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Last edited by Chelle on Sun Apr 17, 2016 6:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Spirit Flower
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Re: New Here

Post by Spirit Flower » Sat Jan 02, 2016 8:36 pm

Zeezee15 wrote:Thank you everyone, I'm attending my first meeting on Monday.. I do notice when I stop drinking I over do or get obsessed over something else - dietary control, working out to excess, ocd style house cleaning... Is this normal, has anyone else experienced this? I guess it's better than sitting around drinking and doing nothing!
Service work. Go clean the AA hall; or help another member.
...a score card reading zero...

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Niagara
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Re: New Here

Post by Niagara » Sun Jan 03, 2016 7:24 am

I can relate to other obsessions too. When I quit drinking I found out what all the others were that the drink had hidden. I just have an obsessive mind, I guess.

When I'm well spiritually, these are less of a problem...I actually use these obsessions as a 'marker' of how well I'm applying this programme. I know if I start to get the urge to buy random stuff, or eat junk food, or just do anything obsessively (by that I mean I can't just 'let it be') I need to redouble my efforts. Previously I was just obsessed with booze, for the most part..now that obsession has been removed, others want to jump in in it's place! I remember hunting for hours trying to find a particular type of drawing pencil in the uk. Hours. Then I realized that wasn't really that sane or normal, when there are other brands that are just as good really :lol: I just WANTED that particular brand. Felt like I needed it. Go figure.

Now, onto the alcoholism. Just stopping drinking was painful for this alcoholic. It didn't get better with time, I slowly unraveled even more. Why? Because the alcohol in itself wasn't the problem, just a symptom. Alcohol was only a problem when I was drinking it. It was the way I felt when I wasn't drinking that was the real problem....that's what the 12 steps dealt with, for me. Without those steps, I just went slowly insane, and inevitably landed up drinking again when the pain and stress got too bad. I couldn't fight alcohol. I had to surrender. Give up on it, and look for a better way. I found it here :)
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
Theodore Roosevelt

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clouds
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Re: New Here

Post by clouds » Sun Jan 03, 2016 9:10 am

Zeezee glad you found us. I think all the posts above have said it well.

I got to as many meetings as I could from the start and found I could identify with nearly everyone in the rooms. It wasnt their jobs, family situation or politics etc. that I had in comman, it was about how drinking effected them, and how they had found a solution to their drinking problem and their sober living problems by doing the 12 step program of AA. That really held my interest.

I got some serenity/peace of mind after a very few meetings from applying a few of the essential AA principles, like honesty, humility, staying in the present moment or at least in the day (not worrying about the past or future) and then as I began work on the steps, life really got to be good. That progress was incentive to keep going and it kept getting better.

Have to say my housekeeping was the best ever in those first three months of sobriety. At first I had a difficult time knowing where to start. So it was suggested to me to start with one small corner and work out from there, a bit at a time so as to not get overwhelmed. It was as if I couldnt start anything without a drink, so my first hurdle was just to get started and carry on.

Really happy you're here, let us know how the meeting went!
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.

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