Hey Brock,Brock wrote:Powerful share from Merl indeed, as Tosh said the steps will help with any guilt you now feel.
I sat in my car outside the church at my mothers funeral, and downed large gulps of liquid courage to keep me steady during the service. As fate would have it I now attend Sunday morning meetings in a room at the same church, but the guilt of her never seeing me get my sober act together is gone. Someone here suggested writing an apology and burning it, I prayed and apologized as I watched the smoke rise, when I closed my eyes there was a clear vision of her smiling at me.
Your faith is a joy to read, this program can be done with little faith, and this grows as we go along, but with what you have I believe the road will be smoother for you, from chapter five - “In this book you read again and again that faith did for us what we could not do for ourselves.” The work required is small compared to the rewards, best of luck.
Thank you for your share. I get how you felt. I was like on autopilot myself. I was sober during her days in the hospital, the wake and the funeral. Afterward I buried my feelings and didn't deal with them. I buried them deep inside. Only I found drinking wouldn't keep them there forever. Hence PTSD and my saying " I can't live this way anymore. I need help." And I found this AA group here and started my sobriety and then got into meetings. Keep going my friend. We'll all get further along with eachother. No man is an island. Stay in touch Brock.