I finally did it

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fieldmarshalney
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I finally did it

Post by fieldmarshalney »

After years of consideration, I finally did it, and I've gone to an AA meeting.
I'm not going to give a lengthy life description, but I basically have been drinking on a daily basis for many years. I have lost so much....friends, my dignity, the respect of others, I almost lost my life in a car accident.. I've lost my physical health, my car, my residency in the United States, I might get shipped to a nation I know nothing about and lose my family. Alcohol has taken everything from me...and for what? I don't want to live like this anymore. I constantly think and talk about suicide when I'm drunk, and have this incredible feel of guilt looming over me from all the people I've insulted and hurt on my drunken state. I became a huge liar, I think I can fool everyone but it has gotten out of control. The group was only of 3 people and myself (they just got started) but I really enjoyed it, it's comforting knowing that someone else can relate to what I'm feeling. The funny thing is, I found peace when I was in jail. I was locked up, but I was sober, and I want to experience that peacefulness again. Sorry if I'm rambling now, and thanks for reading. I really hope and pray I can stick to it and make a change in my life.

Robert R
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Re: I finally did it

Post by Robert R »

Welcome friend, a new way of living is within your grasp, hang on tight. You have earned your seat at the table, don't let anyone or anything take it away from you. I wish you well in your journey.

Robert
Don't know exactly where I am going but I'm on my way and it's already much better than where I've been.

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leejosepho
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Re: I finally did it

Post by leejosepho »

Welcome to e-aa, and I can definitely identify...
fieldmarshalney wrote:... I found peace when I was in jail. I was locked up, but I was sober, and I want to experience that peacefulness again.
The madness truly can end without having to be locked up forever, and others who have been there can show us the way. Read our book and let us help you do what is in it.
=======================
"We A.A.s do not *stay* away from drinking [one day at a
time] -- we *grow* away from drinking [one day at a time]."
("Lois Remembers", page 168, quoting Bill, emphasis added)
=======================

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avaneesh912
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Re: I finally did it

Post by avaneesh912 »

The funny thing is, I found peace when I was in jail.
I am glad you came to the realization, just like me (outside AA) the powerlessness and un-manageability. You have already completed step one of AA. I go to a correction facility there are repeat violators and even while they serve they are intoxicated. But thats ok, a day will come for them to realize the truth.

Like Lee suggested, please dive into the book alcoholics anonymous to understand the recovery section. You say the group is small, hope you will find atleast one who has the knowledge to help you work the reminder of the steps. If you don't find one, keep us posted, we can help you with free audio workshops on the big book.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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PaigeB
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Re: I finally did it

Post by PaigeB »

Glad to hear from you fieldmarshalney! Welcome!

I hope you got an introduction to our "basic text" the book Alcoholic Anonymous. Maybe you even got a copy! The basic text is the first 164 pages and follow that is our personal stories. Here is a link to the main USA AA website and the Big Book http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-liter ... -anonymous

I hope you get to another meeting soon. They will be happy to see you! Come see us again too, and tell us how it is going. You will be helping the next newcomer that comes through the doors after you!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

fieldmarshalney
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Re: I finally did it

Post by fieldmarshalney »

Thanks a lot everyone.
It turns out my mother has most of the books, she had been going to AA because of my drinking problem a couple of months back. They're in Spanish though and I'm not too proficient with it, but I will definitely give them a read.
I will be going to the next meeting tomorrow afternoon as well.

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Niagara
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Re: I finally did it

Post by Niagara »

Hey and welcome Field :)

Hope you find your answers in AA as I did

Best wishes

Niagara
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
Theodore Roosevelt

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NicMarie
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Re: I finally did it

Post by NicMarie »

Welcome dear friend!
I will keep you in my prayers and meditations.

Things can get really ugly in early sobriety but in the short thirty days I have I do know that this program will work if one works it right.
The first thirty days has felt like a whirlwind of cheesy and cliché positive affirmations, "Hello my name is...", addict dreams and shaky hands. The one thing I can pass on is the desire that you keep posting and find something in these random blurbs of social media that will help you through the day, the hour the minute. What ever your need may be the hands of A. A. will be there to help lift you up out of yourself.

Breathe and let go.
Pray and go to another meeting.
-Nic
"Happiness can be found in even the darkest of times, if one simply knows to turn on the light" -Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore

Service
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Re: I finally did it

Post by Service »

fieldmarshalney wrote:After years of consideration, I finally did it, and I've gone to an AA meeting.
I'm not going to give a lengthy life description, but I basically have been drinking on a daily basis for many years. I have lost so much....friends, my dignity, the respect of others, I almost lost my life in a car accident.. I've lost my physical health, my car, my residency in the United States, I might get shipped to a nation I know nothing about and lose my family. Alcohol has taken everything from me...and for what? I don't want to live like this anymore. I constantly think and talk about suicide when I'm drunk, and have this incredible feel of guilt looming over me from all the people I've insulted and hurt on my drunken state. I became a huge liar, I think I can fool everyone but it has gotten out of control. The group was only of 3 people and myself (they just got started) but I really enjoyed it, it's comforting knowing that someone else can relate to what I'm feeling. The funny thing is, I found peace when I was in jail. I was locked up, but I was sober, and I want to experience that peacefulness again. Sorry if I'm rambling now, and thanks for reading. I really hope and pray I can stick to it and make a change in my life.
Glad you had the " personal wiliness" to do it - would of been easier if a sponsor introduced you for the first time, but sounds like you did it yourself - It's wonderful you got introduced to everyone no matter 3 or 50 - Stay close to the fellowship and careful with the follow-ship diversion that may come your way - regardless welcome to A.A fellowship.

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