personalities in the rooms

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D'oh
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Re: personalities in the rooms

Post by D'oh »

It also says in the BB, when people offend us, we should think of them as sick people, and cheerfully offer them the same patients tolerance and pity we would to a sick friend

Lali
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Re: personalities in the rooms

Post by Lali »

cpr123 wrote:Thanks everyone for the comments. I have calmed down and believe it is not a good idea to confront said persons during, before, or after a meeting. After writing to the board I read through a few of the newcomer boards and a few of the others on recovery page and realized this is almost as good as a face to face meeting. I calmed down and went to sleep without thinking of drinking. I'm glad I found you guys.
But BOTH is even better. I needed all the help I could get when I first got sober.

Most of the people here attend both f2f and online.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

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tyg
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Re: personalities in the rooms

Post by tyg »

When I start feeling resentful, that I don't fit in, or have any emotion that makes me want to isolate. I've learned it is my sick alcohol(isms) thinking working hard to keep me separated from others(even self): even if there's great reason for it. The ISMs (spiritual malady) are trying to justify a drink or the right to stay disturbed. My life becomes unmanageable if I don't recognize it or use the AAs tools to be free of it.

The great gift of going to f2f meetings, helping newcomers and being in service is that it teaches me love, patience, tolerance and knocks the ego down to more its right size when it doesn't get what it wants and reminds me that God is in charge. I get to watch the program work, miracles happen & the changes that occur when people get well. Also, along the way, solid friendships are created. That doesn't really happen with virtual recovery.

AA shows us what to do when angry: Page 67
We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done." We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~

AAPJ
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Re: personalities in the rooms

Post by AAPJ »

Lali wrote:
cpr123 wrote:Thanks everyone for the comments. I have calmed down and believe it is not a good idea to confront said persons during, before, or after a meeting. After writing to the board I read through a few of the newcomer boards and a few of the others on recovery page and realized this is almost as good as a face to face meeting. I calmed down and went to sleep without thinking of drinking. I'm glad I found you guys.
But BOTH is even better. I needed all the help I could get when I first got sober.

Most of the people here attend both f2f and online.
cpr123 - Hi I'm Peter & I'm an alcoholic. While Lali has strongly advocated the BOTH approach I have a somewhat different viewpoint. First like you I am a re-tread and I'm back after 10+ years of being gone from the 12 step world. Last time I was 12 stepping the internet did not have electronic searches for meetings and this board did not exist. But I have been an active member of several other internet discussion boards for more than a decade so I think I have some experience on how these discussion boards can work for people. Personally, I think some here may underestimate the power of these boards in helping people on their road to recovery. Over time on line discussion boards like this can also lead to friendships and can provide a great forum for recovery thoughts and discussions. What I found most amazing on these other boards is how well you can know some of the other regular posters over time. Personally, I find the people here of a higher quality and more engaging than some local meeting with a bunch of court ordered DWIers. The people who post here want to be here 100%. So if you do not like your meetings in your small town maybe you do go less, but then perhaps you will benefit most by being more active here. Personally, after all my blabbing here you might think I'm against meetings. I'm not. I went to a meeting yesterday. But I live in a highly populated area where there are many meetings to choose from. I'm sorry you don't have the choices I have. In summary I would say this. A good FTF meeting is the best but if you don't have that option coming here and sharing is almost as good as a meeting and it's certainly better than a bad meeting. I wish you the best. To anyone who has a different viewpoint please feel free to be direct in disagreeing with me. Thanks For Letting Me Share (TFLMS).

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leejosepho
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Re: personalities in the rooms

Post by leejosepho »

AAPJ wrote:A good FTF meeting is the best but if you don't have that option coming here and sharing is...certainly better than a bad meeting.
That sounds about right to me!
=======================
"We A.A.s do not *stay* away from drinking [one day at a
time] -- we *grow* away from drinking [one day at a time]."
("Lois Remembers", page 168, quoting Bill, emphasis added)
=======================

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NicMarie
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Re: personalities in the rooms

Post by NicMarie »

cpr123 wrote: I left AA 3 years ago and I believe this stuff had something to do with it. I remember that after a while these jerks were undermining everything I said. I didn't quite make a year before I went out last time. Problem is that on my own I cannot get past 2 days when I try and quit or slow down. I have tried for the past 3 years on my own and have failed. Now just as I'm starting to think I can put some time between me and my last drink these f**ks are making me want to leave. .
I have had a similar issue recently while in treatment. I will forever advocate that every person's bottom looks different. Not everyone will have the same symptoms, not every drunk will have the same black out venues or DUI record but we all know the desperation of a good woman lost to the bottle. We all know how shitty it feels when you finally admit you need help and finally have the courage to reach out.
With that being said remember we must always focus on personal sobriety. With out individual sobriety through fellowship the program falls apart. As such I hope you can find a way to continue attending the meeting with out going completely insane from the hypocrisy and judgment you seem to face.
You and your story are worth taking time to tell. Live well and keep coming back
"Happiness can be found in even the darkest of times, if one simply knows to turn on the light" -Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore

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