Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

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Muffinpie
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Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by Muffinpie »

Hi, my name is Tara and I'm a alcoholic.

I found AA about 3 months ago but have relapsed a couple of times. I will be 5 weeks sober on Sunday but I am really struggling right now. I have had to make a huge decision recently and its really weighing on me right now also I have recently found out that both of my parents are quite unwell, I have a overwhelming urge to drink right now, I don't want to but I do at the same time if that makes sense, I guess that's the insanity of the disease. I have tried phoning a few people but they are busy.

Some advice right now would be much appreciated.
One was too many and a thousand was never enough

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whipping post
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by whipping post »

Hi Tara,

I was not able to get past the urges until I worked the steps. Actually they left somewhere around the fifth step. Do you have a sponsor? Have you started the steps yet?

rickabo14
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by rickabo14 »

Take a step back and relax. Find a meeting and go to it. I was 6 months sober and the same thing happened to me and I didn't follow that advice. Been struggling ever since, and that's been 3 months. Keep calling people, sponsors, members, or just the AA line. Remember that they tell us, one day at a time. Just make it through today. Tomorrow will be another day.

Reborn
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by Reborn »

There is nothing in life that will happen to you that a drink will make any better. I know for me in the early stages of sobriety I did alot of praying. I would ask God to just get me through that day and give me the strength to the next right thing. This will not work if you ask God for help and turn around and drink anyway...God's grace will protect you if and only if you continue to do the next right thing. My sponsor drilled it into my head that "Faith without works is dead"...So prayer is only one half of the equation...alot of the time what worked for me is say a prayer and then just simply pick up the Big Book and read. I got alot of relief that way...if I didn't I would call another alcoholic...if I couldn't get ahold of anyone I would get to the first available meeting. Remember that just because you're sober that doesn't mean life will not continue to happen...feel free to post as much as you need to here...I will be around all day for support.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132

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Brock
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by Brock »

A long timer on this site Tosh, has said a few times in the past, that when he was new and felt that way listening to speaker tapes helped, I haven’t felt to drink in several years but even when I just feel a little “sideways” listening to a tape lifts my spirits.

Personally I find you tube the easiest place to find them, just type “AA speakers” in the search box, hang in there Tara things get better, much better.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

Stepchild
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by Stepchild »

Hey Tara...Early on I prayed...Went to multiple meetings in a day...Listened to speaker tapes...Whatever I had to do to make it through the day. But this was only going to last me so long...I needed something that would allow me to live without the need or desire to drink. I had a long history of failed attempts and that is what brought me to AA...I needed something that would work long term. I really like these couple paragraphs from The Doctor's Opinion in the Big Book...Read it a couple times if you have to.

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.

On the other hand-and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.


When he mentions "Men and women" he is talking about alcoholic men and women....When he mentions "an entire psychic change" he is talking about "the" result" of working the steps. The "few simple rules" are the steps. When I heard there was very little hope for my recovery without going through this process of the steps....I took that to heart. I'd been through the "over and over" enough.

4thDimension
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by 4thDimension »

Hi Tara,
Find a sponsor and get through some of these steps, you'll begin to feel better quickly. Stay around program people when you can, and go to activities sponsored by groups and AA.

If you put that much effort into this, things will surely improve.

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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by Tracy h »

Hi Tara, for what it's worth I'm there with you and fighting through similar emotions (day 13 for me). Thought I'd weigh in a voice of support and also acknowledge that I appreciate all the above advice from others. I'm reading-rereading-reading the suggested passages in BB with hope that things sink in, attending meetings daily and just overall trying not to freak out due to stress and fall into old habits ... No sponsor yet, not too far into working steps yet. It helps to know others are out there. Hope it does for you too. Will look forward to your progress as source of inspiration.

2granddaughters

Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by 2granddaughters »

Dr Bob wrote "Trust God, Clean house, Help others" on his scrip pad for the newcomers
(Google "Trust God, Clean house, Help others" and you'll see a photo of his scrip)

I'll add GET A SPONSOR, GET A HOME GROUP, GET ACTIVE .... do the things you really don't want to do. Go against the grain.

It's all there in HOW IT WORKS. Read it slowly and carefully. http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf

All the best.

Bob R

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johnd
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

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Last edited by johnd on Sat Aug 15, 2015 11:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

Tracy h
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by Tracy h »

Hi John D, appreciate the sharing but I'm not going to lie ... The thought of thinking about all this to the same degree 10 years from now and worrying about the sneaky impetus to drink overcoming me after years of potential sobriety is not exactly a calming thought right now ... I know it's the "newness" of it all talking and I'm
trying to break it down into smaller daily pieces to not freak out. Just commenting, to "be real"... And yes the WE of it all is a helpful thought. Thanks.

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Brock
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by Brock »

I think this is where faith has to come into play, faith that we are telling the truth when we say the problem goes away, and this happens pretty well when you are halfway through the steps, most people report a great relief after step five. How fast you get there depends on you and your sponsor, it can be a few weeks or months but should never be counted in years, here is a quote from the book which came true for us all.
From Ch. 6.
We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. it just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us.
There is another thing I like to tell newcomers, when I say it in meetings I usually get some ‘cross eyed’ looks from one or two members who feel I shouldn’t say it. But when I first came, apart from the concern you have that I might be feeling to drink forever, I also was worried that I would have to attend these stupid meetings forever. I did find the meetings kind of a chore at first, after some time I came to enjoy and look forward to them, but the best news for me was that going to meetings became a choice not a requirement. Try to not let things that might happen in the future bother you, when you have done these steps you will look back on this day and wonder why you worried, but we all probably did the same thing, best of luck.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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johnd
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by johnd »

Hi tracy,
Sorry It wasn't meant to freak you out. I was just trying to help. I apologize for any confusion.

Hope all works out for you Take care John D.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by Stepchild »

Tracy h wrote:Hi John D, appreciate the sharing but I'm not going to lie ... The thought of thinking about all this to the same degree 10 years from now and worrying about the sneaky impetus to drink overcoming me after years of potential sobriety is not exactly a calming thought right now ... I know it's the "newness" of it all talking and I'm
trying to break it down into smaller daily pieces to not freak out. Just commenting, to "be real"...
I have to agree with you Tracy.....I found that post a little unsettling to tell you the truth. And I'm glad it wasn't the example given to me when I was new. As far as my experience goes...It's not the norm. This program is a design for living...As long as I've followed it...I haven't run across that situation. I fought alcohol for most of my life....It was a fight I never won. As promised in that book...I have ceased fighting alcohol...The problem has been removed....And that is what attracted me to this program. It really comes down to following a few simple rules....It's not difficult...And it works. If I had to fight this thing outside liquor stores as my survival tool....I'd be toast.

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ezdzit247
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Re: Nearly 5 weeks sober and struggling

Post by ezdzit247 »

Tracy h wrote:Hi John D, appreciate the sharing but I'm not going to lie ... The thought of thinking about all this to the same degree 10 years from now and worrying about the sneaky impetus to drink overcoming me after years of potential sobriety is not exactly a calming thought right now ... I know it's the "newness" of it all talking and I'm
trying to break it down into smaller daily pieces to not freak out. Just commenting, to "be real"... And yes the WE of it all is a helpful thought. Thanks.
Hi Tracy

Learning to break everything down, including the AA program, into small, one day at a time, bite-size pieces is good thing. Learning how to hit that "pause" button when I sensed myself being overwhelmed by too much information coming way too fast from too many different sources has saved my sanity and/or sobriety countless times. And, if one day seemed too long, I'd break it down into increments of one hour at a time or even one minute a time. Whatever seemed indicated and appropriate. Another tool I used in addition to the "pause" button when I got rattled was a simple mantra I recited out loud to myself: "Everything is going to be okay." I kept saying that until I felt calm again. Both of those tools worked for me and I still use them whenever necessary. Another thing I learned when I took yoga to learn how to meditate is breathing exercises--to hold my breath when I got anxious, count to ten, and exhale slowly counting backwards from 10 to 1. That works great for me too.

Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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