Imperfect-Angel wrote:
Had a real tough emotional few days at the beginning of last week,
Yeh, we know that one. I was all-over the shop for a while. Up one moment, down the next. I was wanting to drink, but not wanting to drink to such an extent I felt confused about whether I should be a member of A.A.; I mean I thought it was for people who had a 'desire to stop drinking', but sometimes - often - I didn't think I had that. I'm a natural over-thinker by the way.
Driving was a problem because I just couldn't focus. I'd plan to go to point A, but lose myself in some day-dream and find myself at point B, then I'd try to get to point A, but end up at point C. I used to confuse AA meetings, so I'd end up at the 'right place' on the wrong day, and no-one would be there.
Then there was sleeping, or rather the lack of.
That was a grind.
But like Tommy says, I just kept on stacking up the days and going to meetings. That was just the beginning of what's been a surprising journey, and it really is all worthwhile.
Oh, I did all the usual stuff people in A.A. suggest; I found a homegroup (chosen for all the wrong reasons but it worked out to be a learning experience in itself) where I turned up every week without fail and did some service. I found a sponsor, a Big Book guy, who is fantastic (I'm sure
), and he gently guided and prodded me through our 12 Step program of recovery, and strangely enough my relationship to life/existence has changed. I really do know a new freedom and happiness (I could always use a little more though, if you've got any spare).
Welcome to the forum; I love your positive attitude.
Regards
Tosh
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
Glad to have found this forum, any extra support is great! I've been to 7 meetings & feeling fantastic from all the support & welcoming... 
