at a loss

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lumpyspace
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at a loss

Post by lumpyspace »

Im not quite sure what to say other than im an alcoholic. I cant seem to catch a break with it. I end up feeling sadness and regret all the time afterwards. And nine times out of ten i cant believe the things ive done the night before. Im so tired of feeling this way :(

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avaneesh912
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Re: at a loss

Post by avaneesh912 »

Welcome to e-AA. You are in the right place. Look around and post often. Also, try to start reading the book Alcoholics Anonymous so you can identify with the problem and then start working the 12 steps of aa. Try to go to a F2F meeting and find a compatible sponsor.

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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PaigeB
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Re: at a loss

Post by PaigeB »

Welcome lumpyspace. I am an alcoholic too. I took the liberty of deleting a duplicate post you made. This happens a lot, usually from hitting the submit button more than once.

I found this e-aa site several years ago and never left, even though I do a lot of face to face AA too. I haven't had a drink since Aug. 1, 2009 ~ a miracle for this alkie. I remember when I could not give you five minutes without having a panic attack that I wouldn't have enough, that I would have to go without. But thanks to this program I am free from that slavery to alcohol and I live a relatively normal and sane life. I do not fear alcohol any more.

I know some others will be along to tell you about their experiences. Please stick around and chat with us a while. We can help you the way the other people helped us. You will be helping us by letting us help you!

I hope you find what I have found in AA.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Layne
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Re: at a loss

Post by Layne »

lumpyspace wrote:Im not quite sure what to say other than im an alcoholic.
That is a damn good start. Welcome, you are in the right place. We can share our journey with you, how we got here, what we have done about it, and what we are doing now.
lumpyspace wrote: I end up feeling sadness and regret all the time afterwards.
Boy, do I know that feeling. Didn't want to do what I was doing, but didn't know how not to do what I was doing. Through AA, reading the big book, listening to other people share what they had done, following suggestions, and lots of hard work, I have learned how not do what I was doing.
lumpyspace wrote: Im so tired of feeling this way
You never have to feel this way again. Jump right in, the water's fine.

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Niagara
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Re: at a loss

Post by Niagara »

Welcome to E-AA lumpyspace

I started out here too, in a very similar place to where you are. Thank God I found a solution, here in the online rooms, and in the face to face meetings.

The meetings in and of themselves won't get you well though - the 12 steps are where it's at, and for me, I had to go through those with a sponsor who knew what they were talking about, and living the 12 steps every day of their lives. Alone, I was blind.

I know this might sound a bit strange, but these days I'm thankful for the desperation I felt when I was at where you are at now. I was miserable alright, but it was a turning point for me and what a gift that was.

Hope to hear more from you!
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
Theodore Roosevelt

Lali
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Re: at a loss

Post by Lali »

Hi, lumpy. I lost the post I just wrote to you so I will make this one short. You have admitted that you are an alcoholic. If you can admit that your life is unmanageable as a result, then you have completed Step One! And has been said here, the steps are what help us get past the spiritual malady that we suffer from.

Wishing you well!
- Lali
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

catcar
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Re: at a loss

Post by catcar »

lumpyspace wrote:Im not quite sure what to say other than im an alcoholic. I cant seem to catch a break with it. I end up feeling sadness and regret all the time afterwards. And nine times out of ten i cant believe the things ive done the night before. Im so tired of feeling this way :(
Sounds like you are sick and tired of being sick and tired? That is what did it for me. Regret from what I said or how I acted just caused more drinking too. You are in the right place! I am still fairly new so I am still learning a lot but the one thing I have down 100% is that this is where I belong. I hope you feel as welcome here as I do!

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Tosh
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Re: at a loss

Post by Tosh »

lumpyspace wrote:Im not quite sure what to say other than im an alcoholic. I cant seem to catch a break with it. I end up feeling sadness and regret all the time afterwards. And nine times out of ten i cant believe the things ive done the night before. Im so tired of feeling this way :(
I woke up one morning, in a wet bed, feeling so ill I couldn't get to work, despite having loads of financial problems with bailiffs. This was nothing unusual for me. That day, instead of working, I googled 'how to stop drinking' and found this website and I didn't drink that day. That was my first sober day in at least 8 years. The next day I was climbing walls - wanting desperately to drink - and I ended up (with the encouragement of the kind folk here) at my first A.A. meeting.

Unfortunately I did drink again - but that was my path - however the first meeting led to the 2nd, and then a 3rd and so on.

A.A. got me in the end and it's been a few years since I've had a drink. The early days were tough, but I had a lot of help and support from A.A. members (both on-line and in my local area), and now not drinking isn't a problem. I'm no longer feeling 30 years older than my actual age - no more feeling sick and tired all the time - in fact I've never felt better.

A.A. works.

I love your forum user-name too. :lol:

Regards

Tosh
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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Roberth
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Re: at a loss

Post by Roberth »

hello lumpyspace and welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a los Angeles alcoholic. the one thing I didn't see in you post I will ask "Do you want to stop drinking" If you are serious about getting sober I will tell you what they told me when I could to AA and that “you will never have to take another drink if you don’t want to and even if you want to you won’t have to if you are willing to do a few simple things.” We understand how you feel, we have been there too.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!

4thDimension
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Re: at a loss

Post by 4thDimension »

Welcome Lumpyspace,

This too, shall pass.

This program and fellowship can take you places you never thought you could go. Keep the faith, keep sobriety absolutely #1, and take it a day at a time.

(and don't forget to go to meetings, get a sponsor, and work the steps)

Your life will get better.

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positrac
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Re: at a loss

Post by positrac »

You know we've all been through some similar kinds of feeling you are facing and the worst part is I am not worthy of anything better! See once you get some hours, days sobering up things may become a little less foggy and you may start feeling more worthy and less crappy. it is all in your control and it takes you stepping up and crossing the threshold on a new life.

May today be that day for you and keep coming back.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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Jackstraw
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Re: at a loss

Post by Jackstraw »

lumpyspace wrote: Im so tired of feeling this way :(
Hey there lumpy (great name)
That is how I felt, I was so tired of feeling this way. I have been sober and I am still struggling through getting better and no longer feeling that way. It takes time. But here is the thing:

You don't have to make any huge decisions or commitments. You don't have to promise anyone anything. Just show up. That's right. Just go to a meeting. Start with one, and see how it feels. Many people find once they sit in a meeting and they hear a room full of people sharing stories that are so similar to the stuff we have been hiding inside, there is a wonderful moment of freedom, connection and belonging.

Try reading the Big Book. You don't have to study it or believe it - just try reading it. See how it feels.

There are so many people who have connected with the fellowship in AA and worked through the steps that their lives were utterly transformed. You hear it and see it at every meeting. And they all started out like you. and like me.

So take it easy. Be kind to yourself. Take one day, and go to a meeting or make a phone call to an AA office. People are there to help you. It is serious stuff coming to realize you have a problem. As they say in the meetings, and they mean it - we will love you until you can love yourself.

Be well.
And I know how sweet life can be
If I keep myself free from the wah-wah
G.Harrison

catcar
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Re: at a loss

Post by catcar »

Great advise Jackstraw! I second that. Just show up and read and keep coming back. You are not required to "get it" in one day. AA is open to anyone who has the desire to stop drinking. Period. I sure don't get it yet 100% but everyone in AA is helping me along the way. Great place to be!

zteknik
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Re: at a loss

Post by zteknik »

Welcome.
Your on the right path.
You admitted your an alcoholic, one of the hardest things we have to do at first.
All of what your feeling is normal. Once you get into the program get a sponsor and start working the steps it does get better.

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