Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

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Dionysos
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Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by Dionysos »

Hi all, I have the very strange situation that everyone around me thinks I have a problem. I'll be straight up: I don't think I do. It mostly comes from the fact that I have Fatty Liver disease, got arrested, and was expelled from school because of alcohol but that was all in the past. I guess I'm just trying to reassure myself as well as them. I am no different to my friends by the way, and we can't ALL be alcoholics could we! I have good grades and many friends: surely those aren't signs of alcoholism. Surely if someone can write excellent essays even when drunk they cant have a problem. What can I tell my family to get them off my case?

Dionysos
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by Dionysos »

Also, even if I am an alcoholic, I can't really see any reason why I should give up one of my only pleasures in life, since I gave up smoking a year ago.

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ezdzit247
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by ezdzit247 »

Dionysos wrote:Hi all, I have the very strange situation that everyone around me thinks I have a problem. I'll be straight up: I don't think I do. It mostly comes from the fact that I have Fatty Liver disease, got arrested, and was expelled from school because of alcohol but that was all in the past. I guess I'm just trying to reassure myself as well as them. I am no different to my friends by the way, and we can't ALL be alcoholics could we! I have good grades and many friends: surely those aren't signs of alcoholism. Surely if someone can write excellent essays even when drunk they cant have a problem. What can I tell my family to get them off my case?
Hi Dionysos and welcome.

Here's a link to the AA website that has 12 questions about your drinking only you can answer:

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

Let us know if you think, okay?
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Alos
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by Alos »

There are probably many others who can answer this better than myself, but I can relate to what you wrote about having many friends and good grades. I have always been good at making friends (if not long term, I've always had a fair amount around me to all times), and last semester I got better grades than I have ever gotten. Some of my better works were partly done under influence of alcohol. What got to me was the effect alcohol had on me as a person, and after I stopped drinking problems many may connect to alcoholism have occurred. I have lost some friends, I'm not as good at making new friends, and I'm not doing as well on school, but at least I'm now in control of my own actions, the rest is something I have to work on.

With that said, I hope that you're right, and have full control! What I wondered though if people's concerns came from one bad episode, or if it's something that have developed over time (you don't have to answer on this, it's only meant to help you figure out where you're at).

Hobebo
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by Hobebo »

Hello Dionysos and Welcome.
Dionysos wrote: I am no different to my friends by the way, and we can't ALL be alcoholics could we!
I second the suggestion of ezdzit247 . . .

I took the test, as did my wife. She is a drinker. I am an alcoholic.
My wife was willing to attend an AA newcomer meeting with me. We both got something out of the meeting. I heard the fellowship talking to me in my language. My wife heard everyone talking like me in a foreign language.
Dionysos wrote:Also, even if I am an alcoholic, I can't really see any reason why I should give up one of my only pleasures in life, since I gave up smoking a year ago.
In my humble opinion; I congratulate you quitting smoking. But there is really nothing else I can tell you, the rest of that thought is a question you have to answer for yourself.

Glad you shared.

K

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Tommy-S
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by Tommy-S »

Hello friend,
I am no different to my friends by the way, and we can't ALL be alcoholics could we?
I thought like you... I don't drink much more than others around me. But then I talk with an old AA who told me that it wasn't how much or how often I drank, it was what it did to me.

You see, I have this allergy to Alcohol that affects me differently than it does others.

The comparison to how you drink like others doesn't take into account the Liver Damage or Arrests... Its like having Lung Cancer and continuing to smoke because someone else smokes as much or more. Or having Diabetes and eating donuts because others do... I mean at the time, I thought it made sense, but in light of what it was doing to me, those comparisons with others were harder fair, and not very sane.

But that kind of thinking is part of this fatal illness they call Alcoholism.... It tries to convince alkies like me that I don't have it. Our Book calls it: "The Great Illusion of every Abnormal Drinker is that he can Control & Enjoy his drinking"
And some will die or go insane still believing they don't have it.

It was suggested to me that I might be better to 'pretend' I got this thing and get some help, then pretend I don't & die... I can always go back to drinking later.

Your life, your choice... It's just my experience, and I'm glad I listened and gave it a try. Today I don't mind being 'different' as AA gave me a good life in exchange for the living death I had behind the drink.

Good luck... Tommy
Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!

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Duke
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by Duke »

As to what you can tell your family, just say it's none of their business. It's not. It's your life. You have to decide this for yourself.

As to whether you're an alcoholic or not, my experience is that people who don't have a problem don't spend a lot of time wondering if they do.

I was a lot like what you describe. Graduated with post graduate degree, good job, house, etc. And yet, I was miserable most all the time. I couldn't function without booze and it had pretty much stopped making me feel better. Everything looked right and I wanted to die. Great picture, pitiful back story.

If alcohol's not in charge, why don't you just stop for a while and prove them all wrong? If you can't, maybe your assessment that you have it all under control isn't? Also, so you ever drink alone? If you do, how do you know you're just like your friends? I used to have a lot of friends who drank with me, but I've found out since that very few of them carried booze with them almost everywhere just in case they needed a pop to get them through.

Bottom line: you have to decide for yourself. Good luck making your decision. And by the way, you didn't really expect a bunch of recovering alcoholics to just endorse your continued drinking did you?

We'll be here if you need us.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa

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positrac
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by positrac »

I would think if you have to justify your purpose then maybe you are either an abuser or an alcoholic. I suspect you are young and it is difficult for seasoned adults to give suggestions as most young people think we haven't a real clue. Oddly enough we do and we were young once and had to find out our paths in life and most of the time it is less about control and more about lesson learned.

So if you are satisfied with your life today and it is not causing you to miss class and or jobs then keep on keeping on. Although if at some point in life you notice that things aren't what you'd hope maybe you'll consider other options.

I was 22 when I hit the wall and realized I wasn't like my friends and co-workers in the drinking department and I've been sober over 25 years and for me it is nice to wake up just tired and not hung over and feeling shitty and not looking over my shoulder because of my actions while drunk.

You are right I don't believe we all can be alcoholics.
Last edited by positrac on Fri Feb 06, 2015 4:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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whipping post
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by whipping post »

Dionysos wrote: everyone around me thinks I have a problem
Do you think you have a problem? Honestly?

2granddaughters

Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by 2granddaughters »

It was amazing how bad I had to get before I admitted I had a problem.

What was the most amazing was how much worse I had to get before I did anything about it.

All the best.

Bob R

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Roberth
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by Roberth »

Hello Dionysos, the big question is do you want to stop drinking. This is going to sound harsh but if alcohol hasn’t convinced you to stop I serious don’t think I can. Basically if you want to drink that is your business but if you want to stop and can’t we can help.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!

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Spirit Flower
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by Spirit Flower »

I am an "alcoholic of sorts" :lol: (people who have read Dr Alcoholic Addict will get it, is it still called that?)

Otherwise, I graduated engineering school with high honors. Partied my way through school. It wasn't until after college when there weren't any friends that I was still drinking and being miserable and had to quit.
...a score card reading zero...

Lali
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by Lali »

Spirit Flower wrote:I am an "alcoholic of sorts" :lol: (people who have read Dr Alcoholic Addict will get it, is it still called that?)
The name was changed to "Acceptance is the Answer".
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

catcar
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Re: Almost everyone around me thinks I have alcohol problems

Post by catcar »

Admitting that my life was unmanagable and accepting that alcohol was a factor in that was a gift to me. Admitting that meant I was an alcoholic sounded scary to me at first but it has been the greatest gift ever because the program is helping me in so many ways. I still have a LOT to learn but the most important thing I have learned so far is that alcohol does not help anything

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