I drink because my life is ruined

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Timoxi
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I drink because my life is ruined

Post by Timoxi »

I have nothing to live for or anywhere to go. My family doesn't want to know me and everyone has let me down. I struggle to hold down a job or make friends. I try to make myself useful but it seems to attract hatred from others. No one helps me out or takes me seriously.

My strategy is drinking. It makes things worse but at least the world stops seeming so hopeless temporarily. I want to stop but doing that would require things getting better in life and that isn't possible. I feel almost liberated by how futile my life is. It's both enraging and amazing at the same time. I simply have no chance at anything.

I know for certain I am not am addict, I've tried AA and appreciate that there is so little if any help for addiction, but that leaves me out in the cold again. I am such a loser that I don't fit in anywhere. Hopefully I'll find a way to put myself out of my misery. Or better yet the alcohol will kill me before that.

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avaneesh912
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by avaneesh912 »

I know for certain I am not am addict
Welcome to the forum. Did you mean to say you are an addict?
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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dralius
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by dralius »

Timoxi wrote:
Thu May 14, 2020 2:22 am
I want to stop but doing that would require things getting better in life and that isn't possible.
This is not true. You can't control the world around you. You can control they way you approach life and choose to deal with it.

First off stop drinking. Alcohol is a depressant. It is going to keep you in the cycle you are in.

People will help you if you let them. There is no magic wand so we can't just take away your pain. We can let you know what worked for us and support you in your efforts to get sober and have a good life.

For me it was necessary to get into rehab to stop drinking. I was also put on medication for anxiety and depression.

I have been sober for 5 months, working the AA program and using other tools like meditation and mindfulness to find peace with myself. I am much happier now.

I hope you will be too.
"There is no greater disaster than discontent."
-Loazi...

D'oh
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by D'oh »

I have nothing to live for or anywhere to go. My family doesn't want to know me and everyone has let me down. I struggle to hold down a job or make friends. I try to make myself useful but it seems to attract hatred from others. No one helps me out or takes me seriously.

My strategy is drinking. It makes things worse but at least the world stops seeming so hopeless temporarily. I want to stop but doing that would require things getting better in life and that isn't possible. I feel almost liberated by how futile my life is. It's both enraging and amazing at the same time. I simply have no chance at anything.

I know for certain I am not am addict, I've tried AA and appreciate that there is so little if any help for addiction, but that leaves me out in the cold again. I am such a loser that I don't fit in anywhere. Hopefully I'll find a way to put myself out of my misery. Or better yet the alcohol will kill me before that.
A whole lot of "I's" in your plea.

The 12 and 12 sums it up Correctly, "Who cares to admit complete defeat?" "Practically no one unless they Have Too to survive."

The truth is "I couldn't, Not Drink." Worse yet, "I could not imagine a Life without Alcohol." Truly a Jumping Off place, with No Where to Land. Until I was shown that I was covering the Landing Pad (AA) all along.

Complete Defeat.


I Can't
AA Can
AA Members will show me How.

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Layne
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by Layne »

It sounds like you have surrendered to the futility of life. A lot people have trouble with the thought of surrender. You already have a grasp of the concept and since you are already willing to surrender, why not surrender to the program of AA and the twelve steps instead? It comes with a result of freedom which beats the hell out of despair and no hope of better.
Last edited by Layne on Fri May 15, 2020 7:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Layne
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by Layne »

If you truly thought and believed your life is ruined, you wouldn't have posted on here. Deep down inside you know there is hope, you just need help finding your way out of the dark place you find yourself in at the moment. We have all been there and now know the way out. Let us help show you the way. We will also be helped through the process of helping you, if you allow us to. What a concept!

tomsteve
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by tomsteve »

Timoxi wrote:
Thu May 14, 2020 2:22 am
I have nothing to live for or anywhere to go. My family doesn't want to know me and everyone has let me down. I struggle to hold down a job or make friends. I try to make myself useful but it seems to attract hatred from others. No one helps me out or takes me seriously.

My strategy is drinking. It makes things worse but at least the world stops seeming so hopeless temporarily. I want to stop but doing that would require things getting better in life and that isn't possible. I feel almost liberated by how futile my life is. It's both enraging and amazing at the same time. I simply have no chance at anything.

I know for certain I am not am addict, I've tried AA and appreciate that there is so little if any help for addiction, but that leaves me out in the cold again. I am such a loser that I don't fit in anywhere. Hopefully I'll find a way to put myself out of my misery. Or better yet the alcohol will kill me before that.
this here reads like the old me. big old pity party.
this here reminded me of early reacovery. i THOUGHT i was a useless,worthless,hopeless helpless POS. but i WANTED to stop drinking and stop thinking i was a useless,worthless,hopeless,helpless POS. i dove into the program of AA. went to a crapton of meetings,read the BB a LOT, prayed like crazy, didnt drink even when my ass was fallin off, repeated.
i had HOPE- hope that what had occured for countless others would occur for me.
every single promise in the BB has occured for me. i now have use,worth,hope, and can help others. no longer hate myself. i can look myself in the mirror and love who i am today.
i am forever greatful for the gift of desperation

MyNameIsBetsy
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by MyNameIsBetsy »

Hi Timoxi, thanks for posting yesterday.

Getting sober was hard, but very much worth it. Sobriety is a process, a slow, steady, learning process. Everyone starts that process in the exact same way . . . by not picking up a drink today. There is no other way to start.

It helps to be with others who have solved that same alcohol problem. We listen and learn from others who have been there before us. And we get support from others who understand what we are doing.

You know where to find those folks. You posted on an AA site. You are in the right place. The next step is to find your way to your local AA meetings. Many locations are meeting on zoom because of the Covid-19 problem. If you contact your local Alcoholics Anonymous central office, those good folks can help you find your way to an online zoom meeting.

Some of us also need specialized help from mental health professionals. That's nothing to be shy about. If you need their help, please seek them out!

It all starts with what you do today, Timoxi. We in AA are here to help when you are ready for that help.

Here's some basic reading for you, to learn a bit more about alcoholism and our program of recovery: https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous

Betsy, an alcoholic
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

AlfaGeek
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by AlfaGeek »

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Does a happier life sound like something you want? The logic that alcohol is destroying your life and all your relationships is easy but the quitting is hard. If you stop drinking, at least things won't continue to get worse - of course there might be some fallout that catches up with you but there won't be any NEW S*** happening. No, your family won't come around on the day you quit and pat you on the back. But, if you just don't drink and listen to the guidance of an AA sponsor, things WILL slowly begin to get better. The promises do come true. Look around you, these AA members have EACH been through hell thinking that they were special and no one could possible understand them. Well, that's bullshit - you are not as unique as you think. Let them guide you to a happier sober life - they've been where you are and know how to get out of that revolving cycle of despair. But, this program is for folks that WANT it, not those that need it. Go to a meeting and commit to the program, get a sponsor, read the Big Book, pray and don't pick up that first drink. The alternative sucks.
"Rarely have we seen someone fail who has thoroughly followed our path."

Aggiejim
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by Aggiejim »

I'm in my 30th year of recovery and somewhere way north of 4000 meetings, maybe I missed the ones where it happened, but I'm yet to hear I went and got drunk and.....The boss called and apologized for firing me, begged me to come back with a big raise, ......Child Services let me know I'd get my kids back tomorrow....If I would only stay drunk the wife would call off the divorce....The Judge said she was sorry and that drunk made her realize how much I need my drivers license.

I guess if you were bleeding to death you'd cut yourself again. Makes as much sense. You're depressed, so you're treating your depression with a depressant. You need to quit cussing the dealer, and take a look at how you played the cards, or better yet, question why you were even sitting at the table.

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PaigeB
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by PaigeB »

Aggiejim wrote:
Tue Jul 07, 2020 11:01 am
I guess if you were bleeding to death you'd cut yourself again. Makes as much sense. You're depressed, so you're treating your depression with a depressant. You need to quit cussing the dealer, and take a look at how you played the cards, or better yet, question why you were even sitting at the table.
OUCH! But sometimes the truth can be painful.

Here's what I heard at a meeting that was a turning point for me:
I have never heard of a person who went out and got drunk who was actively working the Steps of this program. Pick up a pen or pencil and get busy living or get busy dying...
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

innermost
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by innermost »

Timoxi wrote:
Thu May 14, 2020 2:22 am
I want to stop but doing that would require things getting better in life and that isn't possible. Or better yet the alcohol will kill me before that.
Or there is another prospect for an alcoholic.
That is, things get worse and alcohol stops working for you and you come
to know terror,bewilderment,frustration and despair and you live a long time.

Unfortunately for you, AA is not a program of hoping things get better.
It is a program of action.
Several in AA have found their bottom and discovered they are alcoholic
and cannot manager their lives because alcohol is but a symptom of a disease.
Show up in the rooms of AA even if you haven't stopped drinking but have the desire to.
Give people a chance to tell their story of how they were in your shoes.
Not all will have similar experiences but if you look honestly at yourself
you may find some that you relate with, then listen to how they handled their
recovery from the disease of alcoholism.
The first 164 pg. is the program!

Aggiejim
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by Aggiejim »

Listen to the above learned man or woman. He/She knows of what he/she speaks.

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positrac
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Re: I drink because my life is ruined

Post by positrac »

These posts are chain yankers for us because this person can't seem to explain why it is necessary to drink and yet not declare the addiction portion to this lifestyle!

When they get sick and tired of being sick and tired hopefully they can make it back and surrender.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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