Comparing your drinking to your peers

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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby DaveGuy01 » Wed Aug 08, 2018 8:18 pm

Just thought I share....

So long story short....me and a friend got into it (nothing to do with alochol at all) it was his fault completely.

But....anger brings out what ppl really think of you. So he goes "enjoy your evening bottle." And I was like yo f u guy.

Like wat ima drubk...is tgat wat u tryin to say? He later apo lo gized for it and we squashed.

But the comment fkd With me. So today... I thought Ima prove that wrong cuz im not.

So i bought a fifth of vodka and I in public but I had it in a gatorade bottle mixed with red bull. I finished it off.....and that was it.

But man I wanted more. I did. I cant even lie. And the only reason I stopped was cuz I had no money for an uber, no one to pick me up, and the interlock device in the car which meant to get home soon I cant drink anymore cuz if I did then id bascially be stranded until very late.

So....I did stop and I was able to drive home once I was completely sober.

But in reflecting if I am bn honest.....I only enjoy drinking if I can have as much as I want. I do not like stopping.

No I do not. Thats why....I am keeping that machine in my car cuz that will in the mean time keep me from breaking the law.

But in the long term.....drinking probably isn't for me...cuz i really do only ejoy it if I canz drink until I drop.

Thanks for lettin me share.
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 4:00 am

Thats why....I am keeping that machine in my car cuz that will in the mean time keep me from breaking the law.

Other alternative is, realizing deeply that if we keep continuing this way of life, its going to get progressively worse. One day may come, where you may black out and remove the device and drive or steal someones car and drive. Even while sober we could do this, because we get bad S*** crazy when we force ourselves into sobriety. If we are alcoholic.

Ofcourse, this is something an individual has to realize that.
But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby DaveGuy01 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 10:53 am

Yea nah im not removing that device.

There is 0 percent chance of that happening.

I went from a six figure job to now I am working at chipotle making $9 an hr because the background check folk rescinded my badge due to my 3 dui(s).

Unfair as F*** S***....but hey if I didn't do them I'd still have the job.
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby Chelle » Thu Aug 09, 2018 11:15 am

Keeping it in your car sounds like a great idea, Daveguy. If you think you might drive after drinking it could save you from one more.
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby PaigeB » Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:26 pm

Do you think alcohol might be interfering with your life?
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby DaveGuy01 » Thu Aug 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Yes.....well the drinking and driving for a fact is.

Hence why I am unemployed right now and am really about to work at Chipotle.

As far drinking by itself...um idk.

I as of this moment have decided to stop drinking all together until I get back to where I wana be which is working full time at a job equal to my resume and compensating me what I should be making.

Then work out to get back into shape ( im a little fat rite now and I don't like it)

I say all that to say that as of late....( past 2 years) every time i get drink I get trashed (thTs normal) but now ive somehow become that angry drunk that no one likes. The one who argues with his friends, punches stuff, gets kick out of places.

That did not happen b4. Idk if that is a dangerous alochol progression or thats me expressing how I feel about my life (it sucks).

Currently as I type this it sucks. It really has been quote hard for (in my opinion) no fkn reason at all.

So for rite now....Im not drinking at all.

Once I get my job back, my fitness back, I'll revisit it to see if Im.still that angry guy or not.

I am not taking that device outa my car tho....that I have decided. I am done with police and dui(s).

If ppl wana.judge for that or make fun cuz i got that thing in my car.....F em.
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby PaigeB » Fri Aug 10, 2018 1:25 pm

I as of this moment have decided to stop drinking all together until I get back to where I wana be which is working full time at a job equal to my resume and compensating me what I should be making.

Ohh - I know how you feel. In my late forties I went to the doc who heard how much I drank... of course I lied and said "about a case on a Saturday." Not telling that everyday was Saturday and that I added vodka & benzo's a lot of the time... anyway she took a liver test and it came back with high liver enzymes. Scared the poo outta me. So I thought I would just give my liver a break and go to AA for a while... maybe do that treatment thing I heard about "90 meetings in 90 days"... And I needed a meeting everyday too - cause I needed to replace my drinking everyday.
I say all that to say that as of late....( past 2 years) every time i get drink I get trashed (thTs normal) but now ive somehow become that angry drunk that no one likes. The one who argues with his friends, punches stuff, gets kick out of places.

You sound a lot like me here too! I heard page 30 and it really got me... it says:
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones.

Scary here too... If I have this disease (dis-ease) I might go completely insane (wet brain ~ google it) or DIE. It might be in a drunken car accident which happens to so many of us... but it might be a long lonely ugly death of liver disease too. You can google image that too... not pretty at all.

I can never drink safely again. I still think I wanna get in bar fights though - I kinda miss the excitement! I don't miss the broken bones and peeing my pants though. And when I drink I never know where I am going to end up... sometimes things go pretty well... sometimes I end up in another city and I can't find my car... Back then there was no GPS locator on my phone (I didn't even have a cellphone!) I had to walk from a seedy hotel to a Dunkin Donuts in the rain just to find out where I was... then try and remember who was babysitting my kid. I don't miss that either.

I drink and my safety switch turns to OFF. I can't drink safely. I KNOW that I have this disease. How do I want to die?

There is a guy in the news today who died from a punch and fall. I could die that way too.

It is not so bad though. AA had a solution for me. They were that shiny last house on the block that was bubbling with happy people. I went to meetings for 90 days and then I made a decision to stay a while longer even though my 2nd liver test showed my enzymes were normal again (after 30 years of drinkin!?! wow). Meetings aren't bad and the coffee is free. It feels good to hang out with happy people for a couple hours... and it helps to ease the pain of not drinking. These people also have some good health tips and you might find an exercise partner.

So while you are taking a break consider going to meetings near you. It worked to give me a happy life. Now I am going to work on this painting of a mental image I have of the California wild fires... I pray for people and their animals. Then I paint in a fury! Me - a bar brawler - who is painting on a Friday afternoon. Not bad for a person with a very scary chronic illness. Hint: The Steps are the key to long term sobriety, if you want it.
:wink:
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby DaveGuy01 » Fri Aug 10, 2018 9:02 pm

So ladies and gents....gents and ladies.

Went out had two drinks. And cut myself go me!

Prolly common sense but Ive found its easier to do that if its beer or wine and not straight liq (what I normally drink).

Still.....as always the urge to drink more is there.

I guess cuz I only had a Corona and glass of white wine...the window/urge to continue wasnt as strong as say my last post when I drank straight liq.

Still I don't know if I trust myself to consistently do that so the machine is staying in the car.

Prolly should quit all together some day since I still feel that having to regulate my alochol intake makes it not fun altogether.

Just thought I share....thanks!

I like these forums!
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby PaigeB » Sat Aug 11, 2018 10:46 am

=biggrin :D :)
Here's another piece of the book for you and for me!
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!

You'll have to imagine us all tipping our hats since there is no emoji for that!

If I could drink like a gentleman, I'd drink all day everyday! :mrgreen:

:| wait.... what?!? lmao
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby tomsteve » Sun Aug 12, 2018 8:12 am

PaigeB wrote:=biggrin :D :)

Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!



and heres another part of the BB:
The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing.
Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.


i tried many different ways. then crossed the line into full blown alcoholism and didnt give a crap. i ceased looking for a way to control my drinking and excuses why i drank. i drank to oblivion- how ever much that took. everything got worse as alcoholism progressed.
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Aug 13, 2018 3:55 am

Ive found its easier to do that if its beer or wine and not straight liq (what I normally drink).


Yeah i did that Friday only Beer experiment for a longtime. Firstly i was miserable the other days and cant even imagine how I managed that 4 years but slowly the old ways crept back in and when GA opened up the alcoholic content and I started seeing steel reserve beers at the package stores, I switched. In a way I should thank GA for doing that, It got me to AA and help me find a solution to stay stopped. Today I know I am alcoholic and if I dont take care of my un-manageability, I get disconnected from my higher power/consciousness. And the insane idea will creep back in and before I know I will be back out there. Thank goodness for the 12 steps of AA.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby LAPB » Fri Aug 24, 2018 4:22 pm

I too am a light drinker compared to what one thinks of as an alcoholic. However, I use this analogy: If a smoker ONLY smokes a half a pack a day and another smokes 3 packs a day but neither of them can quit, is the 3 pack a day smoker more of an addict?
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Sep 02, 2018 5:13 am

Alcoholism is little bit more than drinking lot of alcohol. Thats why we are struggling to keep people in recovery. Its more to do with what we do when not under the influence, in other words what we do under the influence of our own mind. It always seeks that sense of ease and comfort by taking a few drinks or other mind altering substance. Always resist the idea of living a life without alcohol. The paragraph in more about alcoholism captures it well. Goes from beer to wine to hard liquor and all the possible options before we realize the futility of such a chase. People with other addiction go from one substance to another. Also the book talks about the state of the alcoholic mind when not drinking. The mind is restless irritable and discontented driving the person back to booze. There is a statement when working the 4th step. When the spiritual malady is overcome we straighten out mentally and physically. So we take care of being restless and irritable, and we no longer hit the blind spot, and when we start thinking sanely, we dont take the first drink and therefore we dont end up with the craving part.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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