question on holiday time.

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question on holiday time.

Postby marthamaree » Sun Nov 12, 2017 6:10 pm

Hi. I am 3 weeks now. I have a question. What do you people say to people when they ask why are you not drinking alcohol. I cant think of a single thing to say that wont make me appear more boring than usual and put a damper on everyone. I am greatful to be not drinking and pretty fortunate that I dont have many to attend. I am interested to hear what you have to say.
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby Layne » Sun Nov 12, 2017 6:45 pm

Because I don't want to, or, why would I? If they say because it is fun or it helps me to relax or something along those lines, I just say... okay. If they push, I just say I don't need it to do anything of those things. We usually don't get to that point though.
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby ODAAT » Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:15 pm

I got sober just before the holiday season. I was worried about giving an acceptable reason for not drinking. But I couldn't say the truth.

So I concocted a phony medical reason. Used that a few times. But it felt wrong. So after that season, I changed to "I don't feel like it, thanks." That's been working ever since.
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby D'oh » Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:43 pm

I say "I am allergic, I break out in Hand Cuffs"

Truthfully, it seldom comes up, but DD works well.
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby desypete » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:00 pm

why do you need to feel you have to offer anyone an explanation as to why your not drinking ?

if you must tell them anything then tell them it makes you break wind very loudly =biggrin

seriously in this day and age no one notices who is drinking what and drinking water or soft drinks is now the norm for a lot of people who go out as they might be driving etc

i can remember worrying about what i could say if anyone asks me why i am not drinking in my early days whenever i was out in a drinking situation.
i understand today i had to be in those situations in order to grow a bit more confidence in myself and get used to being around people who drink

infact i got a bit angry at one function that i was worried about as not one person asked me why i was only drinking coke :oops:

i can also remember some of the old timers who would say to me in no uncertain terms, just who the hell do i think i am that anyone is going to take the time out to wonder about you ? not when there out to have a good night themselves, i would be the last thing they would worry about or notice

i didnt like that much but i can see how true it was about my thinking and about how i assumed everyone was always watching me or thinking things about me
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby marthamaree » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:38 pm

thank you guys. That was great. I enjoyed all the replies and had a giggle too. I will take them to the functions with me. :-)
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby clouds » Mon Nov 13, 2017 9:10 am

I went to AA in early summer, by November I was beginning to worry about December and family gatherings.

I talked about it at my next meeting and something someone said still remains uppermost in my mind, "its just like every other day of sobriety, all the same principles apply". Especially give a read to the three questions beginning at the bottom of page 101 and over to page 102 starting with "Have I any good social, business.." etc. in the book Alcoholics Anonymous.
I use those if I have any doubts about going anywhere.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby Roberth » Mon Nov 13, 2017 9:53 am

Hello Marthamaree. Most people don’t care why and when they ask why I simply tell them it a life choice that I have made
At 90 days I went to a birthday party for a buddy I when into the army with. There was some of the guys there that we use to run and gun with there. I was asked if I wanted a beer and I told them no thank you a stopped drinking. They didn’t ask me why they just said “good.”
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby PaigeB » Mon Nov 13, 2017 10:44 am

Most people don't have alcoholic thinking. I STILL have times when I think others think the same way I do about alcohol, but they don't. What I mean is that not everyone has the thinking of "I can't imagine why someone would refuse a drink!" If you run into someone who is pushy about you "joining" them in a little "Holiday Cheer" or "Just One" - you have probably met a kindred soul. I might whisper to them with excited conspiracy "I quit and I am in AA" wink wink. BE SURE they will probably blab to everyone, so only do this if you don't care - and keep in mind I am a sick passive aggressive person LOL. So on the serious ~ this is the person to watch, the one who will have a good story to tell, if they live long enough to get to AA.

Funny thing was for me? I had no reason to lie! "I am the designated driver? - who am I driving? ME!" Take your own can and bail out when the party start rockin'. It was uncomfortable for me when every started acting the fool. I never noticed that before either.
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby marthamaree » Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:05 am

thanks. I am in Australia and there is one street party I am dreading but I also know after a few hours I can sneak off and no one will notice because they will be too drunk. Its just when I arrive. I think I will arrive with a drink in my hand and no one will care what I am drinking as long as I have a drink. I will take something delicious to share too as a distraction. x
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby positrac » Tue Nov 14, 2017 6:00 am

marthamaree wrote:thanks. I am in Australia and there is one street party I am dreading but I also know after a few hours I can sneak off and no one will notice because they will be too drunk. Its just when I arrive. I think I will arrive with a drink in my hand and no one will care what I am drinking as long as I have a drink. I will take something delicious to share too as a distraction. x

I spent a lot of time in Australia and particularly up in the NT. I remember being in Sydney and in Kings Cross and how pissed everyone was doing jello shots and what not. That was a long time ago and being sober reminded me of what happens when I drank.

Good to hear from our friends in Australia. I used to have the red binder Big Book I bought in 1995 with the Australian story of AA and if you ever find one please read it because those stories in the back are from the mouths of Aussies.
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby tomsteve » Tue Nov 14, 2017 6:14 am

ive had to say "no, thank you" and been questioned a couple times. a simple ,"because i said so" sufficed for all but once.
where i said,"you dont have enough" and watched the dog head tilt happen.
the majority of times,though, nothing after "no,thank you" was necessary.
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby whipping post » Tue Nov 14, 2017 7:09 am

During my first sober holidays there were some festivities I skipped due to the alcohol and people that would be there. It was one of the best decisions I made at the time.
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Nov 14, 2017 7:57 am

Water/sprite looks like Vodka and Gin. You can fake it. Drunks wont know. LOL.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: question on holiday time.

Postby marthamaree » Wed Nov 15, 2017 3:53 pm

positrac wrote:
marthamaree wrote:thanks. I am in Australia and there is one street party I am dreading but I also know after a few hours I can sneak off and no one will notice because they will be too drunk. Its just when I arrive. I think I will arrive with a drink in my hand and no one will care what I am drinking as long as I have a drink. I will take something delicious to share too as a distraction. x

I spent a lot of time in Australia and particularly up in the NT. I remember being in Sydney and in Kings Cross and how pissed everyone was doing jello shots and what not. That was a long time ago and being sober reminded me of what happens when I drank.

Good to hear from our friends in Australia. I used to have the red binder Big Book I bought in 1995 with the Australian story of AA and if you ever find one please read it because those stories in the back are from the mouths of Aussies.

HaHaHa NT and Kings Cross eh? NT land of the drunk tourist eating Crocs. Not funny getting taken by a croc cos you were hot and drunk and thought "no swimming" signs were for other people. I shall look out for that book.
Thanks.
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