Search found 1491 matches

by Layne
Wed Dec 18, 2019 9:37 am
Forum: If It Doesn't Fit Anywhere Else
Topic: How to do aa without god?
Replies: 28
Views: 5667

Re: How to do aa without god?

the question is whether there is a potential for change in character and life that is nontheistic In the experience of this nontheist, the answer is a resounding yes. I also belief that the entirety of the AA program (meetings, fellowship, the 12 steps) all played a huge part in me discovering he p...
by Layne
Tue Dec 17, 2019 9:18 pm
Forum: If It Doesn't Fit Anywhere Else
Topic: How to do aa without god?
Replies: 28
Views: 5667

Re: How to do aa without god?

I am still not sure (even after 16 years) whether I fit in the theist, deist, atheist, agnostic, or whatever camp, plus my beliefs are changing and evolving over the years, as am I. I like attending general meetings which have people from different camps attending, as it increases my exposure to var...
by Layne
Mon Dec 16, 2019 10:28 am
Forum: The 12 Steps
Topic: Struggling with step 9
Replies: 19
Views: 2418

Re: Struggling with step 9

This is a difficult reply for me because part of me wants to say that you should trust your gut as it is pointing you in the right direction and another part of me is saying don't even begin to think Layne, that you have the right or knowledge to tell someone else what is best for them. Stick to fig...
by Layne
Fri Dec 13, 2019 9:42 am
Forum: Young People in AA (YPAA)
Topic: Do I need help?
Replies: 5
Views: 3003

Re: Do I need help?

Hi Cherri. Welcome. In my early twenties I began to consider the possibility that I might have a problem. But I too was highly functioning. I was in architecture school, pulling high grades, paying my bills, not getting into trouble, but I did drink almost every day and got drunk probably five times...
by Layne
Thu Dec 12, 2019 3:18 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: New Slogans
Replies: 48
Views: 5333

Re: New Slogans

Because slogans are sound bites, there exists a huge paradoxical nature between them.
" Avoid making any major life changes in the first year of recovery."
"The only thing you need to change is EVERYTHING."
by Layne
Thu Dec 05, 2019 8:47 pm
Forum: Our Friends and Families
Topic: is it enabling to pay sober living house rent for a relative
Replies: 6
Views: 1383

Re: is it enabling to pay sober living house rent for a relative

Good faith loans can definitely be breeding grounds for resentments. I always approach loans from a strict business perspective. Written contract and clearly expressed commitment on my part to follow through with proper channels if repayment becomes an issue. Doing this minimizes the potential for r...
by Layne
Thu Dec 05, 2019 8:16 am
Forum: Our Friends and Families
Topic: is it enabling to pay sober living house rent for a relative
Replies: 6
Views: 1383

Re: is it enabling to pay sober living house rent for a relative

The way the relative spends his money is up to him. The way you spend your money is up to you. I would pay the rent to be supportive of the recovery efforts but only after discussing a mutually agreeable repayment plan and schedule and having a contract signed. The relative's reaction might be to ge...
by Layne
Mon Dec 02, 2019 4:05 pm
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Any advice on getting a sponsor
Replies: 11
Views: 1471

Re: Any advice on getting a sponsor

At this point in my recovery, I don't have a sponsor but I still do look for role models/mentors/etc. I find it more productive to look for people who have sobriety and character traits that I respect and wish to emulate as I continue on my recovery journey. Looking at the other end of the spectrum ...
by Layne
Fri Nov 29, 2019 10:01 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: DO NOT READ THIS POST IF YOU DON'T LIKE READING ABOUT CRITICISM OF AA!
Replies: 25
Views: 3072

Re: DO NOT READ THIS POST IF YOU DON'T LIKE READING ABOUT CRITICISM OF AA!

All I know is that AA is the only thing that opened the door of recovery for me. Because of that, that is what I share. I don't believe that AA is the only way, but I know what it has done for me. To naysayers, I just relate my experience and let them do what they want with the information.
by Layne
Thu Nov 28, 2019 11:29 am
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Need motivation
Replies: 3
Views: 690

Re: Need motivation

I can relate to every single sentence. What you typed was me before recovery. Since working the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have found what I was looking for long before I picked up my first drink at 18 years of age. I am comfortable in my own skin. Good with being me. Recovery has fulfi...
by Layne
Tue Nov 26, 2019 9:15 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: One day at a time
Replies: 60
Views: 5364

Re: One day at a time

For me, "One day at a time" is a good reminder to stay as close to the present moment as I can. Right here, right now, is where my sobriety is happening and unfolding. My future recovery is contingent upon my actions in the present. What I am doing right here, right now, will impact my future more t...
by Layne
Wed Nov 20, 2019 4:27 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: One day at a time
Replies: 60
Views: 5364

Re: One day at a time

from Big Book pages 65-66 The first thing ap­parent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were ...
by Layne
Mon Nov 18, 2019 8:56 pm
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: I Once Had 6 Years, Now I'm Losing Everything
Replies: 8
Views: 1467

Re: I Once Had 6 Years, Now I'm Losing Everything

Hi Blake, glad you are here. I can relate as i relapsed at 5 years of sobriety. It was inevitable though because I hadn't worked the steps. And even though I didn't drink for those 5 years, because I didn't work the steps either, my issues festered and worsened until they exploded in a return to act...
by Layne
Sun Nov 17, 2019 3:49 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: New Slogans
Replies: 48
Views: 5333

Re: New Slogans

The vast majority of the time when I think about reinventing the wheel, it is ego related.
by Layne
Sun Nov 17, 2019 12:10 am
Forum: Sponsorship
Topic: How do I help my atheist sponsee?
Replies: 26
Views: 8112

Re: How do I help my atheist sponsee?

I lean more towards zen, Buddhism, and mindfulness than i do towards the long-white beard god and prayer. I have no conflict with the AA program nor the twelve steps. For me, they mesh just fine with my beliefs.