Search found 541 matches

by tomsteve
Fri May 01, 2020 9:17 am
Forum: The 12 Steps
Topic: Making amends
Replies: 35
Views: 6028

Re: Making amends

i dont recall lookin at too many amends when i was doin my 4th. even then, i had no clue what an amends was so prolly woulda went out with the old,"im sorry" blahblahblah. aaaand prolly would have received the same old,"yup- you are sorry" reply. quite a bit started happening during and after the 5t...
by tomsteve
Fri May 01, 2020 12:39 am
Forum: Our Friends and Families
Topic: Cheating Husband Sober 60 Days Lying About Affairs
Replies: 7
Views: 3544

Re: Cheating Husband Sober 60 Days Lying About Affairs

Why do I continue to stay? What is wrong with me that I believed all his lies so long and hung on despite all the circumstantial evidence? And why now? i suggest the book,"codependant no more." also ,more than just goto alanon= work their steps. you will find the answer to your question by doing th...
by tomsteve
Tue Apr 28, 2020 1:51 pm
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Not at rock bottom ..but asking questions
Replies: 46
Views: 6272

Re: Not at rock bottom ..but asking questions

Lillibet wrote:
Tue Apr 28, 2020 5:16 am
The freedom of having a secret( my drinking) that no one knows about, my own safe space which is impenetrable to everyone - just me, safe, and free.
ask yourself if it really is safe and free.
could it be safe and free while still feeling guilt and shame?
by tomsteve
Tue Apr 28, 2020 1:49 pm
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Not at rock bottom ..but asking questions
Replies: 46
Views: 6272

Re: Not at rock bottom ..but asking questions

. Id also love to know in what ways life is better without alcohol ...i haven't even considered this as a possibility. Thanks, everyone my life better-hell, i have a life!!! when i was drinking i was just existing. now im living! i can look at myself in the mirror today. kinda ugly lookin but i sti...
by tomsteve
Tue Apr 28, 2020 4:24 am
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Not at rock bottom ..but asking questions
Replies: 46
Views: 6272

Re: Not at rock bottom ..but asking questions

Problem with me right now is that it is not bad enough of a problem yet for me to really feel I need or want to , yet i cant tell the future and whether it is easier to tackle this now before it gets worse or not. . i highlighted that one word. there are MANY yets involved in alcoholism. there was ...
by tomsteve
Mon Apr 27, 2020 6:53 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Such Unfortunates
Replies: 42
Views: 5862

Re: Such Unfortunates

Its hard to be optimistic when your HP is a sad, grumpy old man with a bad back. think id be changing HPs if that was the case for me. thats one of the inspiring things about AA- i can chose my own HP and can change that at any time I wish that is how it works. I can't just choose to be inspired. M...
by tomsteve
Sun Apr 26, 2020 8:54 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Such Unfortunates
Replies: 42
Views: 5862

Re: Such Unfortunates

dralius wrote:
Mon Apr 20, 2020 12:45 pm

Its hard to be optimistic when your HP is a sad, grumpy old man with a bad back.
think id be changing HPs if that was the case for me. thats one of the inspiring things about AA- i can chose my own HP and can change that at any time
by tomsteve
Sun Apr 26, 2020 3:39 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: God/Higher Power
Replies: 82
Views: 14634

Re: God/Higher Power

It is said "The first evidence of Step 3 is a 4th Step." one of the places in the bb that has a time line is between steps 3-4: Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things...
by tomsteve
Sun Apr 26, 2020 3:30 am
Forum: Big Book Study
Topic: Big Book hard to follow
Replies: 20
Views: 4687

Re: Big Book hard to follow

i was scared shitless to share early one. afraid of what people might say and afraid of what would come out of my mouth. i did it anyways- if i kept everything bottled up i wouldnt get the help i wanted to recover. walked out of some meetings thinkin i was a blubbering fool. i probably was but here ...
by tomsteve
Sun Apr 26, 2020 3:21 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Unmanageability of step 1
Replies: 16
Views: 2822

Re: Unmanageability of step 1

Mike O wrote:
Sun Apr 26, 2020 2:49 am
I was only able to manage certain parts of my life by drinking - but I was lying... I was completely NOT managing them by drinking.
i couldnt even manage my drinking. it was unmanagable once i popped a top.
by tomsteve
Fri Apr 24, 2020 5:22 am
Forum: Sponsorship
Topic: How do I help my atheist sponsee?
Replies: 45
Views: 15608

Re: How do I help my atheist sponsee?

dralius wrote:
Thu Apr 23, 2020 1:19 pm

1. Assuming each step must be completed successfully to move to the next that gives me at a minimum 5 months to do the next 7. This is an experienced sponsor so hopefully this is accurate.

how does one know if they have completed a step successfully?
by tomsteve
Thu Apr 23, 2020 2:52 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Unmanageability of step 1
Replies: 16
Views: 2822

Re: Unmanageability of step 1

Thoughts? only thing i will say is on the no relationship problems: relationships with ourselves are relationships that should be considered. was my relationship with myself managable? was i going around thinkin life was sunshine,daisies, and sparkle fartin unicorns when internally was nothing but ...
by tomsteve
Thu Apr 23, 2020 3:07 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Unmanageability of step 1
Replies: 16
Views: 2822

Re: Unmanageability of step 1

i find it quite simple:
... that our lives had become unmanageable.
nothing in my life- work, pocketbook, relationships,etc- none of it was managable
by tomsteve
Thu Apr 23, 2020 3:03 am
Forum: Sponsorship
Topic: How do I help my atheist sponsee?
Replies: 45
Views: 15608

Re: How do I help my atheist sponsee?

i suggest having him, and yourself,too, read the chapter,"we agnostics." if the sponsee is praying every morning and night, there is some HP being prayed to. it doesnt have to be the same HP you have or same perception- just as long as it makes sense to him. As an atheist I find this chapter to be ...
by tomsteve
Sat Apr 18, 2020 3:46 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Such Unfortunates
Replies: 42
Views: 5862

Re: Such Unfortunates

lets look at the part of the bb this is in Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselve...