Search found 26 matches

by DesignatedDriver
Sat Feb 16, 2019 2:24 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Alcohol in foods and other products
Replies: 21
Views: 6740

Re: Alcohol in foods and other products

Some ripe fruits will contain natural alcohol so in some ways it’s almost unavoidable. I don’t think it’s the act of consuming that is the problem in this case, it’s what it means for our sobriety. Is it a threat to our sobriety? That’s a question only the individual can answer. I’ve had beef bourgi...
by DesignatedDriver
Thu Feb 14, 2019 4:11 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: “Take what you need, and leave the rest”
Replies: 14
Views: 3980

Re: “Take what you need, and leave the rest”

I think it's quite a deliberately ambiguous statement that is open to interpretation and can mean different things to different people and that's probably a good thing in terms of its usefuleness. For me it means what I'd hear at meetings, what to pick up and what to discard. I was never really infl...
by DesignatedDriver
Tue Dec 11, 2018 9:25 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Is Introversion a Character defect?
Replies: 18
Views: 6355

Re: Is Introversion a Character defect?

I guess it depends on what sort of introversion we're talking about. If we mean introversion in meetings then I can see how that might be problematic. I always found it best to share at meetings rather than just listen and I often found that the folk who rarely shared and preferred to stay silent in...
by DesignatedDriver
Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:13 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Unmanageability?
Replies: 11
Views: 2914

Re: Unmanageability?

This is a good thought provoking topic. Unmanageability was one of the factors that made me realise I was an alcoholic. I'd been "getting away with it" for years but the more tangible aspects of my life were beginning to unravel. Splitting up with my ex, things becoming problematic at work, falling ...
by DesignatedDriver
Wed Nov 28, 2018 6:05 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Acceptance & Expectations
Replies: 69
Views: 18029

Re: Acceptance & Expectations

I think he's just young (early to mid 20s) and maybe finds it difficult to relate to people. The last couple of times he's answered the door he's taken to saying "yeah if it's too loud just come down and tell me" as if he thinks it's up to other people to regulate his behaviour instead of taking a l...
by DesignatedDriver
Tue Nov 27, 2018 7:21 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Acceptance & Expectations
Replies: 69
Views: 18029

Re: Acceptance & Expectations

I mean I understand that getting angry about it only harms me and I try my best not to. But I don't think being a doormat is healthy either.
by DesignatedDriver
Tue Nov 27, 2018 5:43 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Acceptance & Expectations
Replies: 69
Views: 18029

Re: Acceptance & Expectations

I don't really accept that it's possible or reasonable to just shrug my shoulders and be serene in that situation with that sort of intrusion into my own private living space though.
by DesignatedDriver
Tue Nov 27, 2018 4:13 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Acceptance & Expectations
Replies: 69
Views: 18029

Re: Acceptance & Expectations

I currently have an ongoing issue with a noisy neighbour in the apartment downstairs from me. The chap likes to play his bass guitar but without headphones and depending on how loud he has his amplifier turned up it can reverberate through the building to the point where my entire living room vibrat...
by DesignatedDriver
Fri Oct 19, 2018 6:27 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Acceptance & Expectations
Replies: 69
Views: 18029

Re: Acceptance & Expectations

Acceptance was not something that came easily to me. I work as a data analyst so I'm trained not to accept things, I'm trained to investigate, analyse and challenge things. I need people to show their workings when they tell me things. If my manager asks me why I think we should spend £3m on a proje...
by DesignatedDriver
Tue Jul 24, 2018 7:58 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Selfish?
Replies: 13
Views: 3918

Re: Selfish?

I think selfishness can be pretty subjective and the ones who make the accusation are often the most guilty of it. My selfishness as a drunk cost me a lot friends and no less personal honour. But in sobriety I've also drifted away from a lot of people because a lot of the time I'd just rather do my ...
by DesignatedDriver
Fri Jun 22, 2018 7:02 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: taking the first step
Replies: 19
Views: 6863

Re: taking the first step

Good for you, well done. I remember my first meeting. I didn't know I was an alcoholic until then. I don't really know why I went if I didn't know I was an alcoholic. I knew that I had a problem and that it was ruining my life. But I think a part of me was hoping that I could go to an AA meeting and...
by DesignatedDriver
Mon Jun 11, 2018 5:09 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Racing thoughts
Replies: 10
Views: 4108

Re: Racing thoughts

I remember an instance of this last summer. I was sitting in the departures lounge at Delhi airport waiting to fly back to the UK. I'd been sober about two months and was doing well, the cravings were not as strong or as often as they had been at the very start. The announcement came that my flight ...
by DesignatedDriver
Tue May 22, 2018 7:49 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Personality Change
Replies: 6
Views: 3066

Re: Personality Change

This is an interesting topic. I was 15 when I started drinking and I wasn't a very confident kid. I'd had a very strict upbringing and schooling and I quite liked being on my own because I saw people in general as a source of pressure and anxiety. In short, people usually meant trouble. When I start...
by DesignatedDriver
Wed May 16, 2018 3:26 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Dirty Little Secret
Replies: 14
Views: 4185

Re: Dirty Little Secret

This is my first time EVER joining any form of AA and sharing with others that I am an alcoholic. I’ve been in recovery since 2008 with 1 relapse that last a few months in 2010. Only my closest family & a couple friends know. None of them are alcoholics. I’ve been struggling lately. Feeling like I’...
by DesignatedDriver
Tue May 08, 2018 8:16 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Does A.A. Have A Monopoly On "god/higher powers"?
Replies: 17
Views: 6665

Re: Does A.A. Have A Monopoly On "god/higher powers"?

My own personal feeling is that AA is not the only way for every person to get sober but that is an unpopular opinion and one which seems to make some people feel threatened so I've no desire to go over old ground. On the issue of a higher power, I've never had a god in my life. I was never christen...