Search found 541 matches

by tomsteve
Sun Jan 03, 2021 9:59 am
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Need to begin
Replies: 6
Views: 543

Re: Need to begin

I need to begin again. I cannot stay sober for the long haul. I can't even decide how to begin again. I feel terrible about myself. And as of right now, my life is good. I'm a problem drinker and can't control it once I start. Aside from my drinking my life is good. It's my secret I hide. I don't w...
by tomsteve
Wed Dec 30, 2020 4:03 am
Forum: The Family Afterwards
Topic: Recovering with family
Replies: 12
Views: 2014

Re: Recovering with family

Hi Suzie, My sponsor says "if you want someone to trust you you have to start by doing what they tell you to do." that reads more like: wanna control freak to control ya? do what they tell you to do. =biggrin people started trusting me when i started doing the right thing because i wanted...
by tomsteve
Tue Dec 29, 2020 1:11 pm
Forum: The Family Afterwards
Topic: Recovering with family
Replies: 12
Views: 2014

Re: Recovering with family

Suzieintexas wrote: Mon Dec 28, 2020 12:34 am The dynamics of family are exhausting to me. What do I do??
glad ya made it back.
what i suggest is making sobriety #1 priority.
the dynamics of your family- even though they are family
not you circus not your monkeys.
stay in your own hoola hoop and toss out anything that causes it to wobble.
by tomsteve
Sun Dec 27, 2020 2:13 pm
Forum: A.A. Birthdays!
Topic: 40 years
Replies: 15
Views: 8050

Re: 40 years

Db1105 wrote: Fri Dec 25, 2020 10:58 am Still here in this crazy year to celebrate 43 years!
43 years ago i hadnt even had my first drink yet.
by tomsteve
Sat Dec 19, 2020 11:35 am
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Cucumbers and Pickles
Replies: 8
Views: 595

Re: Cucumbers and Pickles

What I really don’t like, is when some folks put too much of an accent on the lines about a ‘daily reprieve,’ which comes after that, we have had good and sometimes heated discussions about that here. I would not wish to stay in AA if I felt that unless I did as suggested every day, I would relapse...
by tomsteve
Tue Dec 15, 2020 11:08 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: How to put together my story for a speaker meeting
Replies: 12
Views: 807

Re: How to put together my story for a speaker meeting

I found for myself early on not to write anything down. Just went up there and shared my experience, strength and hope. Wherever it took me, that’s where it went. I’m not up there to entertain or tell a great story. I’m sharing when I am at during that moment in time. My only prep is to say the Ser...
by tomsteve
Mon Dec 07, 2020 11:37 am
Forum: If It Doesn't Fit Anywhere Else
Topic: Immense fear of sharing in meetings
Replies: 8
Views: 612

Re: Immense fear of sharing in meetings

New here, first post. Is anyone else successfully staying sober in the program without ever sharing? Regards, Conan welcome,nanoc. "in the program" to me is people who have worked the steps and are living by the principles. IF a person is in the program that way(living the principles), th...
by tomsteve
Mon Nov 30, 2020 6:42 am
Forum: Our Friends and Families
Topic: Was my wife was incorrectly diagnosed alcohol instead of anxiety?
Replies: 9
Views: 848

Re: Was my wife was incorrectly diagnosed alcohol instead of anxiety?

I asked her today if she would go to a therapist who specializes in anxiety and she got angry telling me I am trying to “fix her”. I feel like I need an AA-style intervention to get her to move away from AA and towards acknowledging how her anxiety is effecting me, our kids, and our friends/family....
by tomsteve
Sat Nov 28, 2020 6:37 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Remembering Your Last Drunk?
Replies: 13
Views: 776

Re: Remembering Your Last Drunk?

I can’t remember my last drunk, I was an all day every day drinker and it would be impossible to pinpoint. I remember certain incidents which might form part of my ‘story,’ but I agree with Layne that these are also boring, for me only to be used if I want a newcomer to identify, and trust that I m...
by tomsteve
Wed Nov 25, 2020 5:12 am
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Inductive Reasoning
Replies: 12
Views: 607

Re: Inductive Reasoning

What ability did I have to "figure this out?" Where in the hell was I getting my data? peter, i thank you for the early morning laugh. i laugh because this sends me back to early recovery. i wasnt much to asking questions because i thought i was so smart i could figure it out. reading the...
by tomsteve
Sun Nov 15, 2020 5:33 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Anxiety surrounding the first chair/speaking in meetings
Replies: 11
Views: 2924

Re: Anxiety surrounding the first chair/speaking in meetings

1st open talk i did, i rode with my sponsor to the place. along the way, i started getting jitters. "dam! im gettin jittery-whats up with that?" "my sponsor:" i dont know. what ya thinkkin?" "ive never done this. dont wanna say a bunch of crap that dont mean nothing or ...
by tomsteve
Sun Nov 15, 2020 5:30 am
Forum: Sponsorship
Topic: Sponsor doesnt contact me
Replies: 5
Views: 1043

Re: Sponsor doesnt contact me

hope youre feeling better. i went through a pretty serious cancer battle. went through chemo that i was admitted to the hospital for. i was 150 miles away from home. sponsor never called but i called him. i had numbers to call and i did. i liked to share my misery with my AA friends!!LOLOLOLOL it wo...
by tomsteve
Tue Nov 10, 2020 3:54 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Gratitude tips
Replies: 10
Views: 624

Re: Gratitude tips

Do you think you need to be truly spiritually on your game to feel the flow of gratitude?. Is this possible through hard times? And can you force it? :?: absolutely dont need to be spiritually fit to practice gratitude and is possible through hard times. i was diagnosed stage 3 metastatic melanoma ...
by tomsteve
Thu Oct 29, 2020 5:45 am
Forum: The 12 Steps
Topic: Help me to understand!
Replies: 28
Views: 1904

Re: Help me to understand!

Hello, I'm struggling a bit with the "finding a higher power" concept. I'd like to know: 1. Were you raised in a religious background and did you then return to it? 2. What is your concept of a higher power? 3. How do you communicate with him/her/it? 4. How does having a relationship with...
by tomsteve
Thu Oct 22, 2020 9:48 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: The Dark Night of the Soul
Replies: 22
Views: 1157

Re: The Dark Night of the Soul

i believe one of the greatest things ive read from dr bob is this: There are two or three things that flashed into my mind on which it would be fitting to lay a little emphasis. One is the simplicity of our program. Let's not louse it all up with Freudian complexes and things that are interesting to...