Search found 458 matches

by tomsteve
Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:47 am
Forum: Sponsorship
Topic: Putting in more work than the sponsee
Replies: 12
Views: 217

Re: Putting in more work than the sponsee

someone who hasnt faced and taken care of this is in no shape to be sponsoring which you might want to back off of sponsoring and focus on yourself for a while so you can be of MAXIMUM service to God and the people around you. have you been spponsoring anyone f2f? I respect anyone who is willing to...
by tomsteve
Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:33 am
Forum: Sponsorship
Topic: Putting in more work than the sponsee
Replies: 12
Views: 217

Re: Putting in more work than the sponsee

i dont see why someone with 1,000+ days needs to be guided through the steps again. she stated shes not working a thorough program=the problem. the solution would NOT be taking someone with multiple years through the steps the way my sponsor did it. my responsibility would be to guide them to the so...
by tomsteve
Mon Mar 30, 2020 7:32 am
Forum: Sponsorship
Topic: Sponsorship after long time sobriety
Replies: 10
Views: 250

Re: Sponsorship after long time sobriety

not quite 20 years, but comin up on 15 years next month here. i havent spoken to my sponsor in 2 weeks. before that it was a couple month. no problems i needed help with-just catchin up on life and laughin some. he taught me how to incorporate the steps into every day life. very rarely have a proble...
by tomsteve
Sat Mar 28, 2020 1:18 am
Forum: The 12 Steps
Topic: Need help Creating a Homework Assignment on the Step 1,2,or 3
Replies: 6
Views: 230

Re: Need help Creating a Homework Assignment on the Step 1,2,or 3

read the first 4 chapters,then:

as it pertains to alcohol, give examples of powerless and unmanagability in your life.
are you willing to believe in a power greater than you that can help?
define will and life
by tomsteve
Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:50 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: 10th step
Replies: 3
Views: 333

Re:10th step

10th step has the fewest words explaining any step. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoug...
by tomsteve
Fri Mar 20, 2020 7:40 am
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: I don't know where to begin
Replies: 12
Views: 561

Re: I don't know where to begin

I have been late to work and shown up so hungover that I have to pop pills to function. I can't do local meetings as that will screw my job you could take a look at those 2 sentences. dont ya think showin up so hung over ya have to pop pills is already screwin over your job? wouldnt being pro activ...
by tomsteve
Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:33 pm
Forum: Our Friends and Families
Topic: AA amends and infidelity
Replies: 15
Views: 6955

Re: AA amends and infidelity

Lavender wrote:
Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:28 pm
Hi tomsteve just a quick question - have you ever lived with a drug addict or alcoholic or natural lier? If you have I will try to understand your response to the op
maybe yes maybe no.
by tomsteve
Tue Mar 17, 2020 2:02 pm
Forum: Our Friends and Families
Topic: AA amends and infidelity
Replies: 15
Views: 6955

Re: AA amends and infidelity

I'm a bit of an over-thinker and gave him the go-ahead to make amends to her before he even brought it up to me, knowing he'd reached that step, but asked that he let me know once he'd made it and that it included an understanding that it was the final contact between them (at least in the near fut...
by tomsteve
Sat Mar 07, 2020 12:07 pm
Forum: Sponsorship
Topic: First sponsor but not going well
Replies: 27
Views: 2377

Re: First sponsor but not going well

. Following this experience I’ve thought about not going to meetings anymore because I’d rather not have to see her and feel so awkward. Instead, just continue reading the big book and working the steps. But I forced myself to meetings this week although I’m not enjoying it and I’m not sharing at t...
by tomsteve
Wed Mar 04, 2020 5:56 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Why do alcoholics self sabotage?
Replies: 10
Views: 1718

Re: Why do alcoholics self sabotage?

DaveP1951 wrote:
Mon Mar 02, 2020 11:00 am
First let me say that just the recognition of the fact that we do “self sabotage” is huge. Most of us tend to blame other people for our failures and problems.
aint that the truth!! it was always THEM!!!

my own self sabotage was due to insecurities, fears, and low self esteem.
by tomsteve
Wed Mar 04, 2020 5:52 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: drinking history
Replies: 9
Views: 726

Re: drinking history

Hey, i'm currently starting to go through step 1 in the BB. My sponsor has suggested going back over my drinking career to see signs of the physical allergy beginning to appear. Has anyone else done this and did you start from the beginning? the day after my last drunk- not the physical allergy but...
by tomsteve
Tue Mar 03, 2020 4:16 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: In what ways has the Fellowship of AA changed
Replies: 19
Views: 1470

Re: In what ways has the Fellowship of AA changed

The shift from 12 step to attending more meetings. Also wearing away from the basic text. ive been to a few meetings in metro detroit i call Whatver-ya-want Anonymous meetings. problem based where people show up to talk about their day,their car broke down, etc. also too much meetingmeetingmeeting ...
by tomsteve
Mon Mar 02, 2020 3:03 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: In what ways has the Fellowship of AA changed
Replies: 19
Views: 1470

Re: In what ways has the Fellowship of AA changed

Wow great stuff. Next time I am asked the question " Do you think AA is still working as well as it used too," AA is working just as good today as it did in 1939. its not the program that doesnt work- its the people so lets put responsibility where it belongs- on the people comin in. what ive seen ...
by tomsteve
Fri Feb 28, 2020 7:06 am
Forum: Big Book Study
Topic: Mental Obsession
Replies: 15
Views: 1617

Re: Mental Obsession

I was out for lunch with a friend today and he had a bottle of red wine! I had coke zero and water!! But the red wine was very appealing..kept looking at it and could smell it. Very tempting even though I was driving!! It eventually passed but the urge/obsession or whatever you want to call it was ...
by tomsteve
Fri Feb 28, 2020 7:01 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: God/Higher Power
Replies: 53
Views: 2717

Re: God/Higher Power

DaveP1951 wrote:
Wed Feb 26, 2020 10:25 am
"For those of you who have been sober for a while, in looking back over your sobriety, how much of your sobriety do you attribute to a belief in a Higher Power/God?
all of it